Becca,

Thanks for posting what I sent you. I don't know why it won't let me post at work. Probably because work is LAME!!!!

That is all for now.

Luna

Becca,

My initial analysis of that dream. You shouldn't be eating spicy nacho cheese right before you go to bed. Also, lay off the booze.

I can honestly tell you that you are not going to literally sit on a baby and kill it when you baby sit tomorrow. You might be asking yourself how I can be so sure. That's because I'm psychic. See, I've been watching so much Psych lately that I have literally developed super human powers. Immediately after reading your post, I consulted the psychic realm for answers and a vision came to me of you NOT sitting on babies. Just make sure you don't accidentally poison them.

That last sentence probably didn't help much. Don't worry I was joking. Or was I? I was. Not. Kidding. Actually I'm serious. About joking.

I have never met someone with dreams as vivid and strange as you. Congratulations. Your certificiate is in the mail.

I'm taking Monday off and I have NO IDEA what to do? I'm super excited about it though. Suggestions on day off activities?

I found some clear and black jewels that I'm going to glue onto my white feather for Carrie's wedding. It's a moon and three stars. So I will have a feather hair piece with the Luna symbol on it. Because I'm awesome.

I wish I was rich enough to afford a smart phone. I think I would really like using one.

K, well I'm gonna go make some money so I can buy an iPhone,

Luna

Rachel. I am getting on this ghost blog because I need to tell you about the dream I had. I woke up PANICKED. Tell me what you think.

Okay, so first of all, I was dating one of our friends. Well, I think he was trying to date me. We were snuggling, so let's hope dream Becca is wholesome enough to have some commitment first. You know, my subconscious is kind of a playa. I mean, I'm really making my way around the group. Anyway, not the point. We were at some place, I don't know where, and this man left his two premature twin infants there. So I pick them up and took them home with me and call the guy to let him know how irresponsible he had been and that he could pick them up at my house. So I take care of them. I pet them, I hush them, and I carry them everywhere with me. They are very small (being premies, duh), so I protect them from everyone, even my supposed male counterpart. Then, the guy arrives to pick them up, and suddenly I realize... I accidentally sat on them. I don't know how it happened, but I out of nowhere I am getting up off the couch, and the babies are underneath me. What?! So I pick them up, panicking, and see that one of them is still breathing; he is fine. THE OTHER ONE IS NOT. I stroke his little baby face, and nothing happens. And... he's also shaped like an octopus. Not that he is an octopus, but he is an octopus-shaped human. And he's dead!!! The father is furious, I am going crazy, and then I wake up.

Rachel, I literally BABY. SAT. I babysat a child to death. I am supposed to babysit tomorrow... is this a sign?! Am I going to kill one of them?!?!?????

LET ME KNOW.

Becca

test post... THIS BETTER WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

D Rizzle? Where does the D come from? Also, D Rizzle was the nickname of my high school American government teacher. Dennis Rissler. D Rizzle, or R Digglet. He was a crowd favorite.

That was a long post. We really have been lacking on our postage. And by postage, I mean number and frequency of blog posts, not the costly adhesive paper required by the United States Postal Service. I hope Sarah liked it. And by Sarah, I mean Megan.

So at the wedding last weekend, besides almost passing out, throwing up, and falling over several times, I also reaffirmed my LOVE for Michael Buble. I’m glad you mentioned him. His voice is like delicious, delicious butter. And ohhhh how I love butter. Readers, just fyi, I did not get married. But if being a bridesmaid was any indication, when I do… it’s going to be disastrous. Oh also, when I got my hair done, the lady was horrified by my bangs. She was all, “Did you… cut these… yourself?” “Yes,” I said, “in a fit of bitter rage.” “Oh… well… let me just fix them up a bit for you….” I’m not complaining. Got a free touch-up.

I’m glad I’m not alone in having really weird dreams. I told you about the one I was a male soap opera star right? I’m not gonna lie… I was attractive. I bet I would have made a good looking man. But anyway, I feel not so alone when you also have strange night visions (I didn’t want to use “dreams” again). I also feel not so alone when I go to la casa Gomez. Mainly because Carrie’s brother Stephen also has wide, creepy eyes, but also because they’re a big family of culture-lovin weirdos. Know what I missed last week? Family yodeling night.

You know what I realized last week when I went to visit my friend and her new baby during lunch? There is really NO good TV on during the day. Nothing! Except for shows on USA, of course, but if you only have basic cable? You’re FORCED to watch either soap operas or Spanish cooking shows. Obv, I choose the Spanish cooking shows. But really, can you blame housewives and stay-home moms who get addicted to soaps? It’s not their fault! IT’S A CONSPIRACY.

So I assume you saw my tweet about dying. Because I literally thought I was. I think I got food poisoning… FROM CHEESE. Can you believe it?!?!?! I mean, it’s my own fault for eating moldy cheese (I got the mold off first), but still. I have never felt so betrayed by anything in my entire life. Not even when Canada rejected me. And you know how I feel about Canada.

I’ve been eating really poorly this week because I only have a few dollars to last me until my next payday. I really want to do something about this… America is OBSESE and UNHEALTHY because cheap foods SUCK. It’s so dumb.

So I've completed my coffee-personality theory. I think it's really good. The way you take your coffee corresponds to specific personality traits. As you drink yours with lots of cream and sugar, it means you are talkative, open and honest, a little quirky, and even a little naive. No offense on that last part. This is a science. I can't apologize.

Thank you so much for that list of your favorite foods. I already knew most of them, but it’s helpful. Here’s a list of my favorite foods:

1) Food.

I’m not hard to please.

These are the Ds of our Ls
Playa Riviera (my pimp name)

Also, WELCOME to our newest follower Megan!!!!!!!!! We are excited to have you join us on our epic journey chalk (chock? I doubt the word is actually chalk) full of adventure, laughter, tears, jokes, the occasional snide remark, and most definitely frequent references to Psych. We hope you enjoy!

Playa,

Just to clarify, I meant the Spanish word for beach, not the Ebonics word for player or a gentleman who is very good at attracting multiple women at the same time.

So before you get all huffy and puffy about me not blogging in FOREVER, you should know the I TRIED to blog last week but it wouldn't let me! Scouts' honor. And I was in girl scouts for a year SO THAT COUNTS BECCA! Also, you should know that I spent many MANY hours yesterday typing up the perfect blog in a word document so I could copy and paste it here when I was done. But now the stupid blog won't let me paste it. GET IT TOGETHER GOGGLE BLOGGER!!!!!!!!

I just drank a cup of coffee (in my word document I put couple instead of cup) and now my whole body feels 5 degrees warmer. Is that natural? Whatever it is, it's not cool on a 90 degree day. I just realized my play on words with the cool thing. Sometimes I'm more witty, or wittier as I'd say, than I realize. But then I realize it, so that moment doesn't last very long.

I have decided that Riley has the coolest job EVER and I'm incredibly jealous. We need to start a business that's cooler. Just sayin'

Here is a list of my favorite foods:

1) crackers

2) sweet potatoes

3) chicken

4) Famous Dave's

5) Margaritas

6) nachos

7) Snickers

8) crickets

9) mangoes

10) pie (any kind)

Which one do you think I wasn't serious about?

Riley got to shoot (shot in word document) 3 different guns today, including a full automatic M16. ALL CAPS CANNOT ACCURATELY DESCRIBE THE AMOUNT OF JEALOUSY MY HEART IS HOLDING ON TO RIGHT NOW!

This is a list of reasons I like lists:

1) they are organized

2) they are easy to read

3) they help summarize what I'm trying to say

4) they are an effective way to list facts

5) they make it fun to finish a task by allowing me to cross something out

6) they help me remember what all I have to do

7) you can use fun looking bullet points!

8) they are clear and concise, just like me except the exact opposite

9) they break up the monotony of paragraphs

10) they help me with my counting

I cooked a lot this week. I'm talking mini pizzas, sweet potatoes, AND marinated chicken in the crock pot. I have enough food in my fridge to last 2 weeks now! Oh the single life. I also dried out some basil in my oven and I have to tell you Becca, IT MADE MY APARTMENT SMELL SOOOOOOOO GOOOOOODDD!! I need to do that more often.

i had a dream the other night that we were being attacked by fighter pilors from a foreign invader. I'm assuming it was Latvia with their devilish ways. It was very scary. i sincerely and honestly hope we never get attacked on our home soil. Although with the way warfare technology is progressing, it wouldn't surprise me if that happened sooner rather than later. Therefore, I have already begun make preparations. Every night I spend 49.2 mintues digging out a bunker in the woods by my apartment building. I plan on making it 3,00 square feet under there. Just because there's a foreign incasion and I have to live underground doesn't mean I have to be cramped. I also have ordered $300,000 worth of freeze dried food. That should last me about 3 weeks, then it's cannibalism time. I am having someone make a custom-made gas mask so that it doesn't smush my perfectly shaped nose. I'm also having it take the poisonout gas and turn it into fresh air that smells like a spring time meadow. Bobby is giving me 3 lessons a week in the art of martial so I can properly defend myself against either the Latvians (known for their ninja-like qualities) or aliens. And I have begun building anti-aircraft guns to protect myself. SO as you can see, I am well prepared for any type of invasion, unless they attack us with super robots that have impenetrable metal frames and can dig. Then I'm screwed.

I went to an Indians game with my family on Sunday. They lost. And I heard someone say they were surprised they lost because they had been playing pretty good so far this season. THAT'S THE LASY TIME I GO TO A SPORTING EVENT BECAUSE I AM CLEARLY A BAD LUCK CHARM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, I haven't attended a winning sporting event for at least 5 years. The only good thing to come of this is that K Joe Timm and I hashed up this fool-proof plan where we'd go to games together and I'd root for a team and he'd bet against them knowing that the meer fact that I'm rooting for them means they'll lose. We're going to be BILLIONAIRES!

I forgot what I was going to type.

I think it's time for another list.

If I had a celebrity dinner party, this is who I'd invite:

1) Jay Leno (he's funny and seems like a good guy)

2) Michael Buble (to sing to me)

3) Jimmy Fallon (because he's funny and would entertain us all)

4) Justin Timberlake (because you can't have Jimmy without Justin)

5) Ellen Degeneres (because of her awesomeness)

6) Hilary Duff (because I'm pretty sure if we knew each other, we'd be best friends)

7) Taylor Swift (so I can give her dating advice)

8) Oprah (I'm pretty sure it's against the law to have a celebrity party and NOT invite her)

9) Harry Potter (you know why)

10) Morgan Freeman (to narrate the evening)

I wore make up yesterday in an attempt to draw attention away from the massive zit on my chin. I have acne. So much. Almost as much as I hate tadpoles that won't let me catch them and keep them forever as (at in the word document) companions.

And now I want donut holes.

Off To See The Wizard,

D Rizzle