Rachel, /=I hsvr yo prr. i kone my ginhrtd str in yhr etonh plsvr, buy i'm hoinh yo ho eiyh iy.

Okay I have bestowed upon samantha mathews two nicknames. 1) bugaboo, 2) the snugglemeister. Thoughts?

Sammy is telling me how she is going to eventually make her classroom completely talk-free. They will use hand motions for everything. I am learning some motions right now, if you happen to be looking at me.

Some fun facts about me:

1. 4:32 pm is my favorite time of day.

2. August 23 is my favorite date.

3. Even when I really have to go to the bathroom, I usually choose not to go because it's such a nuisance.

4. I like to glare at people as I drive by on the highway and see what their reaction is.

5. I am not allergic to any foods. I am, however, allergic to your smile.

6. God shows me love through the sky.

7. I have all the right friends in all the wrong places.

8. I'm a huge fan of lists, alliteration, and nasal hygiene.

9. I like to talk people into awkward and/or uncomfortable situations.

10. If I were any animal, I would be an elephant for two reasons. First, so I would actually be able to remember. Second, so I would have both a tail AND a trunk to play with.

Fun facts about Sammy:

1. She always takes a bite out of her sandwich right after she makes it and before she sits down.

2. She has awesome hair, some of which is gray.

3. She was not born in Ohio.

4. One time she tried to kick off her pants and fell over backwards onto her bum.

5. God shows her love through little children :)

6. She's really bad at showering consistently.

7. Her first word was duck.

8. She used to try to brush out her curly hair, resulting in the third grade poodle picture.

9. She stomps her feet when she gets really mad. (The more adult version of scratching her enemies...)

10. She would like to be pushed around in a baby stroller for an entire day.

Another word I don't like: firm.

From meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Becca, it's me, Reggie, Regginold, Regginold Pipestacker, Regginold Longbutton Pipestacker. I've known you four years but I've KNOWN you 28 years. It's me, the one and only. No others can compare to my vast great Regginoldness.

I am very joyful to be in Oxford again. It was a good decision to come. Aren't you glad I forced you to come! See, torture works! It feels good to be back in Oxford. I miss it here and miss all my wonderful friends.

Let's take a moment to salute our real women of Jesus. Today we salute you, Rachael Carr. You always know where scripture is located in the bible. You're like a walking concordance. We lived with you last year. You might remember it as the best year of your LIFE! You are the best friend of both us have had since yesterday. Thanks for always being there for us and always putting up with Becca's creepiness since I'm not creepy at all.

I could totally see Fidel Castro being a professional basketball player, just as long as it was AFTER the trend to wear super short shorts. And you know way to many random facts about Fidel Castro. I think I'm going to report you to the CIA and have them come capture you.

Here are some more random facts for you:

-The BBC banned a Star Trek: The Next Generation(TNG) first-season episode titled “Conspiracy” because of the graphic phaser death of Star Fleet Inspector Dexter Remmick, who was a host to a disgusting “mother creature.”

-Oregon and Washington are the only states that specifically allow physician-assisted suicide under certain strict guidelines.

-One of the first chest-revealing suits for men appeared in 1932 and was called the “Topper.” The suit had a detachable top that could be zipped away from the trunk bottoms. Unfortunately, men who chose to appear topless at the time were often arrested for indecent exposure.

-That the Great Wall is a single, continuous wall built all at once is a myth. In reality, the wall is a discontinuous network of wall segments built by various dynasties to protect China’s northern boundary.

Rachael is sitting next to me and making ENTIRELY too much noise sipping through her straw to get the last ounces of coffee drink. GIVE IT UP RACHAEL! YOU CAN'T HAVE IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!! DEAL WITH IT AND MOVE ON! I keep wanting to go up and say his to Wil but he's always busy. I always liked him because he was always smiling and in a good mood, which made me smile and get in a good mood. There's some police men out there so I'm going to go check to make sure I have enough money in the meter. BRB...................My meter was fine, but there was another one that was done so I put my nickel in there. But I don't know if 12 minutes is enough because they're going really slow. I might go put more in...wait, no, they're going the other way. Crisis averted for whoever's car that was. Sammy is telling a student teaching story about a girl who faked being sick so she didn't have to participate. That reminds me of when I was in kindergarten and faked sleeping so I wouldn't have to participate the rest of the day after nap time. It worked. My teacher was very concerned because I slept so much. I think that was the beginning of my life of sleepiness. I set myself up for failure. Remember when I said I was going to start taking everything literally. Oh no, Sammy is talking about the Duggars again. Sometimes when I'm driving I pretend that I'm on a talk show being interviewed and I literally talk out loud to myself like I'm answering a question. And when I sing in the car, I pretend like I'm performing at a sold out concert.

Okay I'm done.

Bye,

Regginold.

Hi Rachel. It's me, Becca. Becca Lang. Rebecca Lang. Rebecca Marie Lang. I lived with you last year. I have known you for four years. I have been stalking you for 11. It's me.

Becca.

I'm sitting right beside you in Kofenya. Yay for being reunited! Yay for Kofenya! I am also typing of your computer. Yay Mini! I am joyful today. I am glad to be here.

I think we should probably give a shout out to our most (only) loyal reader: Rachael Carr. Rachael Marie Carr. We lived with her last year. We've known her for four years.... supposedly. We were with her about an hour ago. That girl. Rachael, we salute you. For being such a good friend, for providing us (me) with coffee, and for responding to my early morning texts. And for not leaving us even though we creep you out. We're also very proud of you for becoming such a creeper yourself. Well done.

Laaaaa. I don't have much to say. Except that twinkies are more similar in composition to petroleum than any of the four food groups. And Fidel Castro once attempted professional baseball. And I heard some old man blame a bad baseball call on the Mormons. And you look pretty today. And I google compared the Vanessa Hudgens pout with the MK&A infamous pouts. And I tried to decide which twin of MK&A was my favorite by doing an intense analysis of their handwriting. And high fashion models scare me. And my toes are cold. And Wil is working here and it makes me laugh. He's such a whipper snapper. And sometimes when I recall incidents in my mind, I find myself reenacting them without even noticing, like talking out loud and making the facial expressions, and while I was driving I was thinking about something about which I cannot speak on this public forum, and I made the facial expression that was my reaction, and it was HORRIFIED, and after a few seconds I realized that the poor souls who had driven past me in the other direction were probably either confused and/or worried that I was about to die or something. Then I laughed for a good 20 mins. I don't think I explained that very well. I don't care.

I really hate the word frisky.

Love,

Beeeeeeecca :;) -- 4 eyes because i wear glasses.

Hi

You should know that I sent that fly. Someone contracted me to have you killed and that is the method I chose. I cannot reveal who paid me to kill you, but you should know that somewhere out there, there is a clown riding a unicycle that is very mad at you.

Shoot! I exited out of your post and now I don't remember what you talked about. I just watched the new Hannah Montana Forever episode. Jesse's back, which makes me happy because I now like him a lot. In the episode he left a date to talk to his dad in Afghanistan. Also, he's adorable, or as K Joe Tim and his friends might say, Adorbs.

SCUFFING! You scuff your feet! I remember that part. It's good that you own up to it and aren't ashamed of it. But at the same time you probably should try to stop because it increases your chances of tripping and falling which can only cause problems. I'm actually surprised I don't fall more in life. Don't get me wrong, I run into things, lose my balance and trip all the time. But I never fall. Maybe I'm more like a cat than I thought.

I HAVE SO MANY MOSQUITO BITES!!!!

I really need to join a gym because I hate jogging and working out at home. I feel like I would enjoy it more and be more motivated if I went to a gym to work out.

I just looked at the picture of Adam Brody Jen Kulp drew for me in high school as a birthday present. He was a short celebrity crush, but then The OC went off air and I lost interest because he kinda faded into nothingness didn't he?

I like the feeling of my hair brushing against my arms.

Yes, I think you CAN plan your midlife crisis. In fact, I planned mine when I was in 6th grade, and here is what I plan on doing when I turn 55, which is when I plan on having my midlife crisis as I fully intend of living to be 110. When I turn 55, I will sell absolutely everything I own and buy an RV, a childhood dream of mine. I will then drive around the country selling bracelets made from my hair (to replace the trend of hemp bracelets) to pay for my gas. Scratch that, I must update my plan because now I think I shall have an electric RV that needs no gasoline. I will eventually end my journey in Santa Monica, CA and pull my RV right up onto the beach and spend the rest of my days surfing in the sunset. And I just now decided that my RV will all turn into a boat so I can go whale watching and deep sea fishing. I might also start a clothing line and release my own fragrance called LunasLuckyStench.

Eminem, hmmmm, I can see that. Back a few years ago his songs were pretty darn popular. But he hasn't had a hit for a few years now. I'm glad Beyonce is on there. Besides the questionable clothing choices sometimes, I do really like her and think we could be good friends one day.

I really need to jog now...UGH.

Bye

Rachel. I am being stalked and/or hunted down by a fly. I kid you not. It sits there and watches me. It's slowly but surely learning my habits. And then when I move, it attacks all kamikaze-like. This fly is plotting my death. I just know it. So if you get word soon that I have passed due to my eyes and/or brain being eaten, you know what happened.

I don't have much to say...

Except, I really should never be allowed to chew gum. I mean, I am a CHOMPER. It's out of control. I wish there was another way to control bad breath for an extended period of time beside this chewy gummy glob of material in my mouth. I used to get in trouble as a kid for it. I also once got in trouble in fourth grade by my teacher for scuffling my shoes. That's when I first learned that I don't pick up my feet. It's too much work. I'm a scuffler, and I have no shame.

I hope I never have a mid-life crisis and buy an extravagant gift for myself. Or become a cougar.

California girls da da da da da da dadada dadada da ready or not da da da da simply irresistible ohohohohoh..... I clearly do not know this song at all, yet it is stuck in my head. You know what I wish was stuck in my head? I think you know. So I won't tell you. Also, remember our inquiries about the #1 artist of the past decade? Well kjo looked it up, and the billboard charts claim it is..... EMINEM. I mean... is it just because he's white? Because seriously, his voice is a little annoying. But I do like some of his songs. BUT -- wait for it -- Beyonce AND Destiny's Child were both in the top ten. So if you combine them, I think she wins. Which makes me feel better.

I'm chatting with you on skype right now. I just told you to push your easy button. Which reminds me of the time in high school when my mom bought me an easy button and I took it to school. We passed it around calculus and pushed it and drove my teacher insane. It was humorous. I have also recently learned that this same teacher has reproduced at an alarming level. He know has like 294 children. Well, not that many.

I want a taco.

And pizza.

Taco pizza.

I am looking forward to Rookie Blue tonight. It makes me wonder why I'm not a cop!!!! For real. I think I may move to Canada one day. That would be fun. Maybe my mid-life crisis will be to move to Canada and join the police force. Can you plan a mid-life crisis? Probably not. I'll probably just end up buying a bakery and eating everything.

Bye.

To Whom It May Concern:

I have added three songs to our little playlist down there. Feel free to check it out, in fact, I encourage it.

Sincerely,
Rachel Fuhrman

To My Little Snuggle Muffin,
I realize now that that term of endearment could be questionable, especially since you HATE being touched. I'm really interested to see how your marriage turns out...

This also will be a short post as I have much to do today and seeing as I'm SICK OF TALKING TO YOU! Just kidding.

Vegetables are also now my new favorite thing EVER! My go to lunch/dinner are stir fried veggies. LOVE IT. I just told Mama G the other day that I love shopping through the produce section, although I tend to spend a lot of money there.

And I'm obsessed with Mangoes now. Seriously, I buy them every time I see them. THEY ARE JUST SO GOOD I CANNOT DENY THERE SWEET JUICY ECSTASY!

I am SO excited about your job starting. You must promise to call and tell me everything because I am dead serious when I say I want to know all about it. It sounds absolutely perfect for you and I'm anxious to see how you like it. I had a phone interview Tuesday for a job at a hospital here as a Marketing Coordinator. It actually sounds SO AWESOME and I think I would really enjoy it, even more than that other job I interviewed for. So I hope they get back to me about a second interview quick, because I'm expecting a call from the other company any day now.

I went to the Ohio State Fair yesterday. It was actually fun and we stayed a lot longer than I thought. We say a couple cooking demonstrations, which weren't that exciting. But there's only one reason I go to the fair every year. Do you know what that reason is Becca? Do you? It's.....................................THE BUNNIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes yes yes. I don't know if you've ever been to the state fair but they have an entire building just for chickens and bunnies. I of course ignored the chickens and concentrated solely on the bunnies because they are seriously the cutest things I've ever seen in my Entire life! (No offense Rachael Carr). Every single one of them was adorable. I don't think there is such a thing as an ugly bunny. I really want one now, and I think Mama G does to because she was asking the people all about having bunnies as pets.

Anyway, there was an unfortunate lack of ducks there, they must all be watching you.

I must leave now to practice music, say hi to Jesus, and check things off my to-do list.

Ta Ta for now,
Rachel

Hey HATERS.

I too enjoy a good P.S. I often use them in everyday conversation. I think it's even funnier when they are unnecessary. Most unnecessary things make me laugh. I like to laugh.

You...are.... the only exception.

That was actually the song that's playing, but it's also humorous in the context of what I am talking about. LOL to the max.

I start work Aug. 23. I have training in Chicago from the 17-20. They put me up and everything, which is cool, but which also means neither friends nor Mama Lang can come to rock the city with me. But I'll be busy anyway I guess... and I can meet and love on new people. As for what I'll be doing... I don't know. Serving the Lord. That's the concise version. Slash the only important thing.

I too am obsessed with healthy foods. I really like whole grain everything now. I find I eat so much healthier now that I have the time to creatively express myself through cooking. But what I'm really obsessed with is... Jesus. And produce. Produce!!! How did I, in my extreme stupidity as a child, ever not like vegetables?! They are wooooooooooonderful! Veggie quesadillas... veggie burgers... corn succotash... oh wow I spelled that right! And p to the s, yeah, should've is a word. This thing is just dumb.

I am going to go outside and read Eat, Pray, Love. My sister got it for me a long time ago and LOVES it, and now that the movie's coming out, I feel it's time. And I have high hopes that I will enjoy it. But whenever I think to myself, "I need to read Eat, Pray, Love," I get confused because there are so many one syllable verbs in a row. I'm like, "I need to read eat pray love sit sleep write think....." I just keep going. But I mean, it's true. I do need to do all of those things. Especially eat, pray, and love. And laugh. Except at you. No, no.... except WITH you. At you is perfectly acceptable.

You should read my other blog. I had a really cool experience this morning.

CEDAR POINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am really excited. Roller coasters get me in quite a tizzy. I am going to prepare you now with a list of sounds you will probably hear me make:

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

AVJGVUAIWEJGEKJGAECKLJWEKLGJ!!!!!!

FWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

PHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

ARGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH (in ref to the lines)

Less than a week. We are going to have to much fun. And cause Kevin so much fear.

That is all. I don't feel like a long post, especially since I am writing this one because it's either this, or go swim the Nile. You drive a hard bargain, Rachel Fuhrman.

Shapow!

Becca :D