Rachel,

If I had a baby tonight, I would name it RAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNN. But is that setting my child up for suicide? I don't want that song to be prophetic.

Speaking of prophetic, I had a prophetic dream in which I prophesied Rachael's new dress. Ask her. ASK HER.

I am glancing at your last blog post. It's from last Wednesday. My bad on the lapse. But I see that you wrote about rain. IT HAS NOT STOPPED SINCE THEN.

My nails are getting too long to type, but it's such a hassle to cut them. So I won't.

So this morning I get in my car, and the first thing I hear on the radio is about the devastating storms in St. Louis. So I'm like AUSTIN!!!!!!! And text him to make sure he's alive. Then right after I do so, they say that no one was killed or injured. Then I get to the office and find out that the storms happened days ago. What a waste of emotion.

I napped today. You know what a big deal this is, as I loathe naps. It is basically SKIPPING LIFE. I have been needing a lot of sleep though. It's possible that I am fighting off illness, as I have been surrounded by snot-tastic people. Gotta keep my immune system strong. (Knock on wood) I haven't been sick since I lived with YOU. Maybe there's something to that...

I love Modern Family.

I ate dinner tonight because you shamed me into it. I didn't want to though because I had the most INTENSE CUPCAKE OF MY LIFE. I got some for my sister from a bakery because 1) It's her golden birthday, 2) Someone told me they're the best cupcakes in town, and 3) I always want a cupcake. It had like mile-high icing. It was GREAT, but it took its toll on me. I defeated the cupcake... but then it defeated me. I felt horrid. Maybe that's why I napped -- a powerful, powerful sugar coma.

I killed a cricket last summer. Sometimes I think about it and get really sad. Sometimes I cry.

God's taking "April showers" a little far,
Becca

Lang,

That's not why it rains. It rains because GOD IS CRYING! What did you do to upset him so much Becca? I think he's actually just sad because Cathrine Zeta-Jones is in rehab. Or because what's her face got voted off American Idol last week.

I've discovered that the last half hour of work is completely pointless for me. I am so unfocused that I never get anything done. I would say they should let me go home early, but then that half hour of unfocused non-work would just be earlier. It would be a vicious cycle. A vicious cycle that would lead to me working 1 hour a day. I think I'd be okay with that vicious cycle.

It stormed bad here last night too. I didn't hear it though. I slept right through it. I am an expert sleeper though, we both know that. However, this morning Mama G told me that the tornado siren was going off last night. But I never heard the siren going off. Do you know what that means Becca my dear? I COULD'VE DIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If there was a tornado I would never have known about it because I was catching Z's! It would have swept me up into its dark, black, abyss of hate and nightmares.

Now it's the next morning. How was your evening? Mine was good. Went to the gym. Then I baked some bread. FROM SCRATCH! Gotta practice for the bakery half of our coffeehouse slash bakery. It turned out okay. I am pleased.

That's all for now. I gotta pick Alissa up at the airport tonight at 11:00pm. That's late. So I'm going to take a nap when I get home from work. I miss naps. They were a good friend to me.

ZzZzZzZzZzZzZz,
Rachel

Because, Rachel, water is evaporated from ocean and then blows over land and gets denser and denser until it is too heavy and just falls to the earth. We just got a big stream of dense air. It’s called SCIENCE. I actually don’t know if that’s how it works, but it makes sense to me. Speaking of rain, I am always really upset when I fly because I look at the fluffy clouds out the window and know that they do not feel like cotton candy. That’s one thing I wish adulthood hadn’t stolen from me.

I won’t be blogging much either. Chris decided to crack down on us hard. It’s illegal to whip employees, right?
I almost got Chinese today because I forgot my lunch. Then I didn’t want to pay for it.

I know ALL about benefits because I have had to stinking use mine so much. Vomitocious. And you know what YOU KNOW WHAT?! I got a fortune cookie near the end of last year saying that this year would be medically difficult for me!!! So maybe I prefer the non-fortunes, like “sever the ignorant doubt in your heart with the sword of self-knowledge”. Or whatever.

I decided that I am glad we don’t work in a skyscraper downtown because I wouldn’t want to be in one of those during a tornado. I grew up in tornado country, yes, but that doesn’t mean I WOULDN’T DESTROY EVERYONE IN MY PATH IN MY FRENZY TOWARD THE ELEVATORS. I don’t really know what kind of damage a tornado could do to a skyscraper though. Could it take it down? Thinking about this got me watching tornado videos on youtube. Which then got me watching funnel cake videos (funnel clouds --> funnel cakes). Which then got me watching fried coke videos. I discovered a vendor at the Indiana State Fair who sells fried coke – sorry, fried Coke – fried Oreos, fried candy bars, etc. I’m trying it all. But back to tornadoes. It reminds me of that dream I had a while back where my parents and I were at the top of a skyscraper and I saw a tornado coming, so we ran for the stairs. Then my mom’s legs stopped working, but my dad just ran away frantically, so I had to drag her down the stairs myself. But he ended up having a heart attack, so I guess we were even in the end.

Oh! Last night during the tornadoes, I grabbed all of my most prized possessions, which included the following: my quilt, my pillow, Tropical and Henry (my turtle), my computer, my Bible, and my tax forms BECAUSE I WILL NOT DO THOSE AGAIN. I returned with all of them, plus a bottle of gin.

I’m really enjoying my Sinatra Pandora station. This is probably my favorite type of music. I kind of want to move to New York just so I can frequent jazz clubs. There’s a bar downtown here that I want to go to. It’s technically a cigar/cocktail lounge, but I bet it’s the kind of scene I would enjoy. I’ve always known I was made for the Roaring 20s. I should start dressing as a flapper every day. It’s who I really am.

Speaking of tornadoes AND speaking of New York, I wouldn’t mind living there because then everyone else’s houses would stop the tornado before it got to mine. Pretty sure.

Let’s move to New York.

My boss just called me by my last name. I liked it. It makes me feel legit.

Totos,
Becca

P.S. That was supposed to say “Toots” but I like the way it turned out.

Becca,

It's been over a week since the last blog, which was posted by you, which means it's my fault. SHOOT! Well, here I am now. Things have calmed down ever so slightly at work so I can afford to take a minute here and a minute there to blog to you. FINALLY!

I'm just glad I can blog. I know you've been going crazy without hearing from me and knowning what I'm doing every second of every day. Honestly Becca, I don't know how you made it through the week.

You know what I have been thoroughly enjoying this week? Fortune cookies. They are quite delicious. And I'm going out for chinese today with Ann, my favorite co-worker, so I'll get another one! I hope I get a good fortune, not one of those stupid proverbs. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO ME IN THE FUTURE FORTUNE COOKIE!

Uh oh, out of water.

Benefits are confusing. Therefore I've decided to never ever get sick or injured again so I don't have to go to the doctor or hospital.

I think the astronomy episode of Psych is my favorite. It's followed closely by every single other episode.

I missed the Sara Bareilles concert. I was secretly praying that somehow two tickets would miraculously be brought to my front door step by the wind so that I could attend, but sadly, that never happened. I called in to win tickets from the radio. You had to be caller number 10. I WAS NUMBER 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOOOOOOOOO CLOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So you HAVE to stay with Americorp for a year, or if you found another job could you leave early? I need to know so I know when to start looking for a job for you in C-Bus. I'm thinking garbage collector. It may smell, but I hear you get paid a lot.

Just got back from lunch. Chinese. Yummy. The Chinese really have the art of food making down. I should learn to cook Chinese.

Speaking of cooking, I'm going to bake a loaf of French bread tonight. It should take about 3 hours. No joke. I will be baking all night. It better taste AWESOME.

My legs hurt because last night my trainer was OBSESSED with making me do squats. It was ridiculous really.

So I've been thinking about your predicament Becca, and I really just think it would be wisest to plead guilty to stealing the jewelry and pay your debt to society then go to rehab and take the time to get better from your drug and alcohol addictions. You'll be glad you spent the time and money. Wait, that's not you, that's Lindsay Lohan. I mix you guys up sometimes. Sorry.

Ponderment of the day: How is it possible for THAT MUCH WATER to be in the sky that it rains almost constantly for a week straight?

I need to go walk around the building 500 to help digest that lunch.

Adios,
Rachel

Fuhrer,

There is a noise coming from the lobby area. I think it's a tyrannosaurus rex. Speaking of t-rexes, I would like to go back to the Children's Museum. I hope this time I can get into the Dora exhibit. I'm going to sing that song for you right now:

Dora Dora Dora the explorer (Dora!)
Boots and super cool explorer Dora!
Grab your backpack! Let's go! Jump in! Vamanos!
You can lead the way (hey! hey!)
Do-do-dora, do-do-dora
Do-do-dora, do-do-dora
Swiper no swiping, Swiper no swiping (ohh mannnn!)
Dora the explorer!!!!!

This is what happens when you nanny a child from El Salvador. And watch Nick Jr. until you're 16 years old.

I'm glad you mentioned Arby's. Chelsea and I were just discussing this morning our desire for Arby's to have an outdoor seating area. I mean, what's a girl to do if she wants a roast beef sandwich and a view? I think I might just grab some lawn furniture and set it up in the drive-thru. And request an umbrella in my soda pop.

I have no problem with Steak n Shake. I'm a casual girl. I spelled "shake" as "sheak" at first. The other day I spelled "traffic" as "traffick". Man... 16 years and thousands upon thousands of dollars of education already going down the drain. #lifeisharsh

I think I got roped into going to the roller derby this weekend. Those women are going to scare and intimidate me, I just know it. I'm not fierce like Juliet. #wheelwars

I got SUPER excited last night when I discovered that I could listen to Matt Chandler LIVE from the Gospel Coalition. I JUST LOVE HIM. And yes, I can listen to him anytime online, but there's just something special and extra exciting about it being live. And only a few hours away from me! I swear I can feel his closeness. It's in the air. But I of course loved his talk. If you check my other blog (that I forgot about until last night lolz), you will see I discussed a bit what he talked about. And that's how the Lord sees us like a father sees his child taking its first steps. He doesn't care when you fall; He rejoices in the steps that you took, and then picks you up to try again. I love it. I also wrote a quote on Austin's wall that made me lol majorly -- ‎"And even if they didn't have sex, didn't touch beer, and didn't listen to anything but Sandi Patty, does that make them holy? NO! They're just nerdy lost kids!" MC 4 LYFE.

I bet your cheetah face tattoo will look great with those earrings. They're just the gift that keeps on giving.

Sorry about the goose. Kind of.
Becca

P.S. Please come visit. That would be swell.

She Who Must Not Be Named,

My boss just got back from Taiwan yesterday, therefore he's taking our team out to lunch today. Can you say free food? I can. FREEEEEE FFFOOOOOOODDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!! We usually go to Max and Erma's, but I hope we go to someplace at Easton. Like Brio. Or Cheesecake Factory. Really just any place I wouldn't normally be able to afford. Now I feel like I'm taking advantage of my boss. I guess I'd be cool with Arby's too.

Megan was telling me yesterday that in college a guy took her on a first date to Steak and Shake. Don't get me wrong, I love me some greasy, juicy, heart attack inducing Steak and Shake every now and then. But Becca, if a guy EVER tries to take you to Steak and Shake on a first date, let me know. I will personally drive out to wherever you are, find that guy, and shake him until he has enough sense to take you to a nice restaurant, which you deserve, like IHOP.

I have bad news. I've started chewing gum again. And you KNOW how addictive I can get with my gum chewing. But it's only temporary, I swear. I'm only buying and chewing it whilst I live at home. See, there's SO MUCH bad food for me to snack on at home, and I have nothing even clsoe to self control, so I bought the gum to chew to keep me from eating 4 pounds of peanut butter each night like I have been.

I shot a rifle for the first time every this weekend. It was fun. I wasn't half bad at it either. I was more 3/8's bad at it, but not awful. You'd like shooting a rifle. Which reminds me, I need to go to the gun range with mi padre soon. You should come too.

I should come visit you. I'll have to find a weekend that works. Perhaps some time in June 2012? Maybe I'll send future me back in her time machine to visit you. I hear I have purple hair and a tatto of a cheetah on my face in 2036. I must be AWESOME in the future.

Two more hours until lunch. Hooray!

My tongue feels weird now from chewing so much gum.

I have 7 pony tail bands around my right wrist. Just thought you'd appreciate knowing that.

I get paid tomorrow. CHA CHING!

My computer keeps making this really weird and loud noise. It sounds like it's about to take off. Perhaps my computer doubles as a rocket. That'd be awesome. I need more pictures in my cubicle. And more decorations. I want it to have more Luna Flair.

That's all I got for now.

Sincerely,
De Führ

Becca,

I pulled another muscle last night at the gym. This time I pulled my left quad muscle in my leg. I was saving a baby alligator from a burning tire. I have to be running out of muscles to pull by now right? So now I have ice on my leg and when it gets too cold I put a heating pad on it. I've discovered that I prefer the heating pad to the ice.

Oh shoot! I need to E-Verify someone! BRB.

Well shoot, now I have an orientatin. Be back in 30 minutes. Start counting NOW!

BACK! It didn't quite take as long as expected. It helps when they're only part time. I know that means nothing to you, but it means a lot to me.

I realized I need to read more books on HR and learn about all the legal stuff like employment law. Exciting stuff. I wish my job required interesting reading, like Nancy Drew.

I need to Sporcle more. Sporcling made me smart. I could name almost all the countries of the world at one time. I liked being smart.

Speaking of being smart, you know what I was thinking about this morning as I flossed my teeth? I was looking way back into my mouth and it made me think of my wisdom teeth and how they are no longer there keeping my molars company. Then I realized, right after my wisdom teeth were removed, my ability to talk plummeted. I've been slurring my speech and suffering from verbal dislexia ever since. I can't seem to string a sentence together. I think I am literally less wise without my wisdom teeth. It's either that or the excessive booze.

Your post made me hungry for sushi. I think there's a sushi place by my work. I should try it some day, when I find a $20 bill on the ground since sushi is expensive. Unless you buy it from Kroger, which, while not real sushi, is still pretty darn good in my book (appropriately titled "Things I Think Are Pretty Darn Good")

I should start watching slash reading the news more. I have no idea what's going on out there. I JUST found out Bill Clinton was impeached for being a dirty, dirty man.

I just poured a LOT of Kix into my mouth accidentally. Now I'm having a hard time chewing it. I bet I look ridiculous.

I JUST GOT A START! Normally I hate getting starts because it means I have to actually do my job. But this time I'm glad. Allow me to now explain my gladness despite the obvious irrelevance to you. See, we've gotten a lot of terminations lately, which means we're making less money. THAT means we're less likely to go on that cruise. That's not okay with me. But with each start we have more of a chance to go on that cruise. YAY! Plus I can pronounce her name. That's always a good sign.

I bet I'd be a good lion tamer. Part time job? Yes.

What are your thoughts on bowling? Here are Jim Gaffigan's thoughts on the sport.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5fm7QPA9zY

I've been itching to go ice skating lately. When I was young, Tara Lapinski was my hero. Seriously. #triplesowcow

I have to put in a Sam's Club order for the office today. I'm gonna switch out some of our current snacks and replace them with healthier ones so we can all live longer. You're welcome arteries of fellow employees.

Okay, this has gone on long enough.

Bye

Rachel

Rachel.

I also met a girl over the weekend who had never seen Titanic!!!!! Sara Hola's cousin. Of course, she was born years after us, and seeing as I was in the fourth grade when it came out, it's understandable. Fourth grade, Rachel. My mom covered my eyes for that one part, but she didn't cover my sister's eyes. I felt so degraded.

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na. Thanks for getting it in my head again. You know what I am going to sing for you now? The Nanny theme song. The "The Nanny" theme song, to be more grammatically correct. I will never not love that show.

She was working at a bridal shop in Flushing, Queens
Til her boyfriend kicked her out in one of those crushing scenes
What was she to do?
Where was she to go?
She was out on her fanny!!!
So over the bridge from Flushing to the Sheffields' door
She was there to sell makeup, but father saw more
She had style!
She had flair!
She was there!
That's how she became the nannyyyyyyyy
Who would have guessed that the girl we've described
Was just exactly what the doctor prescribed
Now the father finds her beguiling (watch out, CC!)
And the kids are actually smiling (such joie de vivre!)
She's the lady in red when everybody else is wearing tannnnnnnn (do do do do do do doo)
The flashy girl from Flushing (bum bum!)
The nanny named Fran! (bwoooow!)

The other day they made a Sporcle for this. Finally I could utilize my wonderful and normally useless knowledge! #affirmation

I ate some sushi for lunch today. Sushi and strawberries. I feel healthy. I mean, I ate SEAWEED. That dark green sea grass has to be healthy. I'm really enjoying being able to eat normally again. Wisdom tooth -- your attempt at killing me with carbs is OVER.

Want to know how the Lord provides for me? I was babysitting West-Eb while Kristen was at a seminar last night, right? Not much to do while he slept... so I watched episode after episode of Cake Boss. By the time Kristen returned, cake craving was overwhelming. BUT do you know what she had for me? A PIECE OF CAKE!!!! Or a brownie. Whatever, close enough. #thanksJesus It's also ironic that this paragraph followed the health paragraph. Hey, your last post had paragraphs!

So I'm very upset. I like being informed about the world. But NOW the NYTimes online is making you SUBSCRIBE to read articles, and NPR is losing its federal funding! Where am I going to get my news, Rachel?! I need to be a well-rounded citizen. Plus, how can I pray for things if I'm uninformed, hmm? Speaking of news, I read an article today about how your fav Applebee's is changing its policies after one of their locations (in Detroit, of course) served alcohol to a BABY. That's right. Instead of getting apple juice, that poor child was served a mixed drink. Parents became alarmed after he started "acting strangely". His BAC was .1 -- over the legal limit for adults. But he will be fine, don't worry. Keep it comin, Detroit. If you think about it though, how would you tell if a baby was drunk? Stumbling about, slurred speech, vomit... all normal for both a babies and drunkards.

The nanny named Fran!
Becca

My Darling Becca,

My ukuelele session did go well, as far as I can tell. Right after the song a guy asked if we could just watch Cool Runnings. To which I replied, Yes. We also discussed the possibility of skipping small group to watch Titanic as one of the girls had never seen it. Did you catch that Becca love? A GIRL HAS NEVER SEEN TITANIC! I'm pretty sure that's a federal offense. Needless to say the FBI has been notified.

Time to go heat up my lunch. Brb. I dare you to hold your breath until I'm back. GO!

BACK!! Did you make it? You know, after looking at my small bag of carrots and measley chicken, I'm thinking that this lunch won't be filling enough for me... I might have to heat up my 100 calorie popcorn :) Popcorn heated. I am currently eating it and it is satisfying my hunger. Hopefully it holds me over for three hours until my next small meal... sugar free maple brown sugar oatmeal. Mmmmmm.

Becca, I normally do not condone the kidnapping of children unless they are extremely adorable, so if you are going to steal a kid, then you need to do it right. Here are some tips that I have found work in the past: 1) entice them with candy and/or ice cream. 2) tell them you have a Kinect gaming console for them to play. 3) Tell you know the Wiggles and that they come over all the time. 4) Let them know that you would allow them to eat cake for breakfast every morning. And finally, 5) make sure they know that they'd have a cool Aunt Rachel. That would really seal the deal.

I would like to let you know that I did a pretty darn good job of poping more of the kernels for my popcorn. Only a few remained CHEST PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, it's gone. Anyway, only a few remained unpopped. I'm tempted to bit down hard on one so it makes a loud noise then scream "OUCH!" and see if Megan thinks I broke a tooth... Nah. It's ironic that you don't like "Who Says" by Mz. Gomez because that is the ONE SONG by her that I like. The nah nah part is catchy. It's been stuck in my head ever since I read it in your post.

How old is this Korean-American who applied? I'm just curious... I may have to officially call a potential relationship in my "Offical Called-It" book.

You know what I think is awkward to say? Chicken breast. That's why I just call it chicken. Ick.

You know what I like? I like it when people listen to me. Like when I send out an email asking people to send their timesheets in, and they actually do. Or when Donald Trump asks for advice on a business venture and he actually does what I tell him to. You didn't think he got to where he is on his own did you? Ohhhh noooooo.

There are two things I haven't done yet today that I normally have done by now. The first is check out modcloth and update my wish list. The second is take a power nap at my desk. I think once I'm done printing these timesheets I'll go to modcloth's site and then take a nap. Plan. Made.

So I think you should hook up with Mama G while you're in Oxford this weekend. We both know she's LOVE to see you because she loves you more than me. It's so obvious. So painfully obvious.

I almost tried some coffee today. Then I didn't. I'm glad I didn't.

I would like to steal my boss' daughter. But that might get me fired. And put in jail. But I think I could handle jail. I've got some guns now. And by guns I of course mean muscles.

I have 500 miles stuck in my head now. But not the original version. The one of NSYNC singing along with it in their limo on the NSYNC video I watched at least 135 times when I was in middle school. And last week. Actually, I think I might still have it. I kinda wanna watch it now. You know what else that makes me what to do? Darren's Dance Grooves. We need to reunite and get our dance on.

Here's a little video for your enjoyment. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pjSmM4K67g

You should also see this... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npgdw5Zb7TY

So Mama G told me she got the family free tickets to go see an Indians game. I'M REALLY EXCITED! Being Indians fans is in the Curfman blood. Wanna pretend to be my sister so you can go? Perhaps we can plan to run out onto the field and do one of our Darren's Dance grooves. Epic.

Worshipin' Worshipin' YEH!

Luna

Update: NPR mentioned this morning that Forbes annually ranks the net worth of fictional characters. Number one this year? Scrooge McDuck. Because all his money is in gold, duh.

Duck Tales for life.

P.S. Here -- http://blogs.forbes.com/davidewalt/2011/04/06/the-forbes-fictional-15/
P.P.S. Richie Rich is also on the list hollaaaaa

Dearest Rachel,

FINALLY a bona fide band has admired my drawings of Quail Man! I feel like I’ve been waiting for this my whole life. My artwork has been appreciated. It’s about time.

I hope your ukulele session went well. You know how I love that little stringed miracle.

I just saw the girl with the best voice got kicked off American Idol last night. Geez… we’re such a dumb country. I texted my mom about it because I knew she liked her, and she just said, “I know. She was my favorite OF ALL TIME. A voice as good as CELINE DION.”

I'd be up for moving to Canada. You know I would. I just don't think they would accept me lolz. My sister looked into getting Canadian citizenship once... she didn't qualify. It's probably because she was single!!!! #DISCRIMINATION

There is a little boy who goes to the daycare downstairs that I think I’m going to steal. His name is Marcus, and he’s this chubby little black boy who is the CUTEST thing I have ever seen in my entire life. And he’s got such spunk!! #wanthim

So I need to tell you about my dream last night!!!! It was SO weird. You, me, Rachael, and Austin were in it. We were ourselves… but we were also Friends characters? You were Phoebe and Austin was Joey, and I (Monica) discovered you two were secretly together! You found out that I had found out (“they don’t know we know they know we know!”)and so you ran ahead of me to catch the elevator and tried to shut me and these other people out of it, but we pulled it back open and got on. You were really nervous, and then Austin/Joey came walking down the hall and got on, and the doors closed. Then these other people on the elevator (it was a seminary conference lolz) were asking questions about what high school I went to and all these things, and then they asked a question that would have revealed your secret, and I didn’t know what to do because I didn’t want to do that to you but I couldn’t lie to them, and then SHAKIRA woke me up! Aka my alarm. At the climax of the dream!!!! Further details of this dream can be shared on another medium.

I also woke up with “Who Says” by Selena Gomez in my head. I have only listened to a portion of it, like, twice, and don’t really appreciate it that much. But I can’t stop na-na-na-ing.

We’re hiring summer VISTAs to work here at the Clinic. One of them that applied is a Korean-American who loves Jesus. He also took a year off law school to care for his ailing father, works with disabled children, and worked his way up the American dream ladder. I think I will make him mine.

I am drinking tea. I forgot how much I like it (with appropriate amounts of sugar added)!!!! It’s Bavarian Wild Berry flavored. Eric would be proud.

I am going to go play Family Feud.

Becca

P.S. http://veggiefestchicago.org/sched2010/recipes/recipes-vf2010.pdf
P.P.S.

I hope you got this from Ikea -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGPIszdcCcc&feature=youtu.be

Also, I don't know what to think about this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4HbHSPtnrQ&NR=1

Becca, Sorry it took me longer to post than I said it would. I forgot I had a phone orientation at 3:00. Oops. Good news though is that it went really well. He thanked me for making the process to pleasent and professional. That made my day. I am sorry to hear that you might be out of a job tomorrow. I honestly don't understand how the government can just shut down. I'm afraid America is heading in a very bad direction. Wanna move to Canada with me? Perhaps Switzerland? I hear they have good cheese. And chocolate. You like chocolate right? I was picking at my cuticles again, and now my finger is bleeding. LAME! I keep telling myself I'll stop, but I never do. #neverlearnmylesson. Kinda like how I say I'll cut crackers out of my life, but never really do. Perhaps you should considering moving to Columbus? I know of a girl who just signed a lease for a two bedroom apartment who is looking for a roommate. She's pretty much the most awesome person in the world and SUPER fun to live with. Plus she has a purple chair. Not convinced? She also has a spoon collection for you to look at. Still not convinced? She's an excellent cook, although she makes you do tricks in order to receive anything she's cooked. But seriously, consider it. It would be awesome, like my future son's name, Awesome. Awesome Gyllenhaal. (see, I'm getting better). I think I just ate a bad carrot stick. Yuck. I also have carrot stuck in my teeth to make matters worse. #orangegums I just watched a video about a woman who lives in Manhattan in a 90 square foot apartment. DO YOU KNOW HOW SMALL THAT IS!?!?!?!?! That's smaller than the office Megan and I share. That's a glorified closet. No joke. She pays $700 a month. I pay $644 a month for my 920 square foot apartment. Cost of living in NYC is ridiculous. RIDICULOUS! That makes me want to watch Harry Potter. I wish that series never ended. I wish I had magical powers too. When you move to Columbus I found this super cool website that tells about about all the super cool things to do in C-Bus. I think it's sad how I've lived here my whole life and know nothing about this city. I don't know what the music/art scene is like, I don't know where the good restaurants are, and I have no idea what kind of fun stuff there is to do. Move here Becca and that would all change. Just call me your personal tour guide. Actually, I might just make you do all the work and follow you around, reaping the benefits of your sweat and tears. I like the second plan. I think I might brush my teeth after I'm done blogging. Yeh, that sounds like a good idea. I'm leading worship tonight at small group (well, I do that almost every week). But I'm gonna do something different. I'm gonna play Nothing But The Blood on my ukuelele. Just my way of trying to keep things fun, fresh, and AWESOME! You know what sounds good right now? A burrito. Shoot, I have to process another termination. WE NEED TO STOP TERMING PEOPLE SO I CAN GO ON MY CRUISE! Every time I unfriend someone on Facebook, I literally feel like a weight is being lifted off my shoulders. Is that weird? OH!!! SO MY KNEE!!! Right, yeh, so I went to the orthopedic doctura this morning to have my right knee checked out, the one I injured jogging back in October. Guess what he said...MY RIGHT LEG IS SHORTER THAN MY LEFT! Can you believe it? Only slightly shorter though. Barely a fourth of an inch. He told me when I run I probably bend my knee in to compensate and that caused irritation in the side tenden (tendon? tendin? tinden? who knows) of my leg. So it makes sense that I'd hurt it the one time I jog 5 miles and why it hurts when I jog now. He said I just need to put an insert in my right shoe when I jog and be sure I stretch that word I can't spell really good before I run and that should hopefully fix the problem. I hope so because I actually want to jog again. As soon as he said my right leg was shorter, I immediately got a visual of my walking down the street with a normal shoe on my left foot, and a bedazzled platform shoe on my right. I believe I was also wearing an afro wig and fringed vest. If I was an indian princess, this would be my name: She Who Laughs Loudly If I was a Disney Princess, this would be my name: Princess Shiny Le Fancy Pants. Shout Back! Your worst nightmare.

Hey yo what’s up Loony. Your knee destroyed?

So here’s some fun news. Do you watch the news? You know how the Democrats and the Republicans can’t decide on federal budget cuts and tomorrow at midnight is the deadline and if they don’t decide on something the federal government is going to shut down? You know who funds my job? That’s right. The federal government. Come Monday, I might be out of a job. #baller

Here’s a piece of wisdom: we’re all someone’s daughter, we’re all someone’s son – how long can we look at each other down the barrel of a gun?

I was confronted with a profound dilemma yesterday – deciding which name is more Jewish: David Goldfarb or Hadassah Katz. Then that got me thinking… what if I’m not a Gentile? What if I’m a Jew? I don’t know my ancestry. For all I know I could be descended from one of the tribes and somewhere along the line my ancestor converted to Christianity!! I mean, at the risk of sounding very offensive (a risk which I am obviously going to take), look at the evidence. I have a biggish nose. My hair is sometimes curly(ish). My parents almost spelled my name “Rebekah”. Kathryn used to call me Esther, who was OBV a Jew (Hadassah hollaaaaa). My mother used to work in a bank?! It’s just so very clear.

I got a new nickname yesterday. Becca Bootypop. I’m not going to tell you how I got it.

I tried to go without my meds this morning. Why do I continue to make poor choices? Also, my awesome yellow bruise is still gracing my face. I’m a lucky jaundiced girl.

My fellow VISTAs and I had to go to a professional development seminar downtown yesterday. It was four hours of lectures/presentations – aka GOOD FUN. Actually, it was pretty interesting… all about the state of poverty in the country and ways to eradicate it, what the government’s doing, what works and what doesn’t, etc. Dude was smart. Best part though was a freeeeee lunch. It was delicious. But this is what happened: [Becca scarfs down white bean chicken chili and rice. Suddenly she pauses.] “Ohhh…. I’m not supposed to have rice….” [Other girls slap her wrist in shock and dismay. Becca turns to her soda and takes a sip.] “Ohhh… I’m not supposed to have carbonated beverages….” [Other girls proceed to pelt Becca with their own food in their rage at her rule breaking, then take away her cupcake as punishment. Becca prays fervently that she has not just destroyed her tooth hole recovery, but more than that, mourns the loss of her cupcake.] My sister apologized for angering me the other day, and said to make up for it she would make me a cake. I love how people who know me know that they can appease me with baked goods.

I went on a walk last night. It’s amazing the self-preservation tips that I have learned from all my crime shows. Make sure you keep an eye on the alleys. Don’t walk near a dark car. Keep your cell on you, on silent. Killers are not always loners – sometimes wives aid their husbands in their disgusting activities, so don’t get alone with them. That was probably the safest (weapon-free) walk ever taken by any single girl in the history of the world. I stared inside the local inn for a while and tried to imagine myself in Pride and Prejudice. I don’t think I would enjoy living by candlelight alone.

You know how turtles are my favorite animal? I’ve added elephants to the list. I love how they are big and not necessarily beautiful, but they are majestic. And they are brave. And they live in communities and respect their leader. And they work together to defend their young. And they are wise and they never forget. Elephants.

I guess I better get to work since this might be my last real day. Farewell to you.

Becca

Yoo Hoo, I simply MUST tell you about the dream I had last night. So I was in high school, only my high school was downtown in some made up city and it was a big building with lots of windows. It looked more like a college campus in downtown NYC or Chicago than a high school, which of course made it wicked awesome. I think there might have been dorms attached too? Anyway, so I was in high school and I was in a class. James Mardsen was my teacher, so needless to say I was in love with my teacher and his voice like honey. All of a sudden the fire alarm went off and we all ran out into the hallway and saw smoke coming down the hall. So of course we all panicked (that looks wrong?). And the rest of the dream was about my confusing escape from the burning building. There were escalators. Escalators in a high school. I wish this high school existed and that I went to it. I have processed 4 terminations so far today. That's not good Becca. That means it will be harder to reach our goal of $30 million in revenue so we can go on a cruise for free. I MUST GO ON A CRUISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm sleepy. I had a personal training session last night with T-Rizzle. He had me working on arms. HE DESTROYED MY ARMS! Seriously, I don't have the strength or energy to lift them. Driving is interesting. Tonight during my session we'll be working on legs, so I fully expect to not be able to walk tomorrow. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow with an orthopedic guy. He's gonna look at my knee. I hope he tells me how to fix it, and I hope it doesn't involve taking an X-ray because I can't afford that. Seriously, I can barely keep my eyes open. I have to work on the Cardinal Health payment today. But far this is my least favorite part of my job. Bleh. Well, that's it I guess. Ta Ta, Rach

Becca, I have to admit, Boy Meets World is one of the classic gems of television. I thoroughly enjoyed that clip. Also, may I interrupt this post to simply say that I HATE THAT MY COMPUTER ISN'T LETTING ME MAKE PARAGRAPHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would've waited until I got home to post, but I figured you couldn't wait that long. Today was very productive for me. I didn't get much work done for my job, but I got my internet, renters insurance, movers, and electric all set up for my apartment. I think that means I'm set. My internet is going to cost 2.5x what I originally thought it would. Lame. I'm just getting the internet, no cable. The guy I talked to was stunned. But I don't watch THAT MUCH TV and all the shows I do watch are online. So what's the point? I'm still going to buy a TV, you know, because I'll want to watch DVDs if friends come over. Also, I'm going to buy a special cord that will allow me to hook my computer up to my TV, so it will be like I'm watching TV. Someone brought in mini cinnamon rolls to work and set them out in the back. STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME FAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I kinda want oatmeal right now. You know, all the random stuff I say looks a lot more random when it's packed into one paragraph. I wish I could make a fort in my cubicle. It would be AWESOME! I used to watch the OC. I liked it, but not at the level you do lol. I thought Seth was a cutie. For my birthday one year I had Jen draw a picture of Adam Brody for me to hang in my room. I still had it hanging on the wall until about 3 weeks ago. I'm really hungry. I'm tempted to eat a mini cinnamon roll..... I've been gradually weeding out some of my Facebook friends that I never keep in contact with. Hopefully you make the cut... Watching that clip of Boy Meets World made me think of the series finale. I cried. Which made me think of an episode of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air because those are the only two episodes of TV I've cried over. This made me think of Will Smith, which made me think of his daughter Willow, which made me think of her song Whip My Hair, which made me think of her music video, which made me think of paint, which made me think of you promising to paint a picture for my apartment, which made me think of how much money I'll save on artwork if I just get all my friends to paint pictures for me. #smartsaver #tag Get it? It's a tag tag. I'm getting my hair cut. Should I get it cut at the shoulders or just below the chin? I'll open this debate up to the audience as well. When Vana White retires, I want her job. Gyllenhaal. Just practicing. I'm sure you're going to sneeze sometime today, so, bless you. That's it. Word, Homes

Rachel,

I saw you posted something about a cow named Luna that thinks it’s a horse. That’s nice. Do you feel a sense of camaraderie?

Do you like how I keep using the word camaraderie?

Someone said (and by said I mean wrote in a facebook message) the word “compendium” to me yesterday. It reminded me how much I really appreciate that word. I like to say “a compeeeeendium of all my knowledge.” Thinking about it though, I realized it’s because Eric Matthews said that exact thing in a very specific way during one of my all-time favorite Boys Meets World scenes. You know, that “what if” episode when Eric is a robed vagabond named Plays With Squirrels who married a moose and carries a sucker around in his long ragged beard. Good stuff from possibly the greatest show of all time. Here -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfDGIq6Z2_c

I have spent the majority of my day discussing the OC with my co-workers. Now, I know that the OC is not the most appropriate program to ever grace the bronze screen (a level below the silver screen), but it has a special place in my heart. Yesterday was just SUCH an OC day, so I went home and watched. And watched and watched and watched and watched and watched and watched and watched. Eight episodes in all. I’m halfway through season one. I’m not sure whether to be impressed or horrified with myself. Probably both. The emotion is just so real, and the sarcastic wit so fast! It’s a powerful combo. In our discussion, however, we read on Wikipedia that Kirsten Cohen is “presumably Scottish-American.” I googled her maiden name… it’s Dutch and English. So I have been sitting here, wracking my brain for an instance in the series where we get ANY hint of her Scottish heritage… it’s driving me crazy. I’m going to have to analyze the entire series to find it. #dedication #neurotic

I was telling Chelsea how I first learned about the OC from commercials that I saw during my high school Felicity obsession. I watched reruns (two) every day on WE, and they always showed this (or a similar) commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-sj6l0e_l4. I knew from the very first moment I laid eyes on Ryan Atwood that I would be a fan. That’s how it all began, Rachel. If you notice, there is a classic early 2000s Lifehouse song in that commercial. (Also notice how they paid the big bucks and got the official Hollywood trailer voice.) Lifehouse then got me thinking about Dashboard Confessional, and now I have been singing the song “Vindicated” for the better part of two hours. I have decided to deem that song a “power ballad of the modern age”. You cannot sing it without closing your eyes and clenching your fists and straining your voice. It’s a song for the people.

Danli made a fort in the office. She is currently hiding underneath it.

Another big part of the day was our discussion about what the best fast food combo restaurant is. You may have seen it on facebook; I made an official poll. I had a hard time choosing. I knew it was going to be one of the KFC ones because THAT GRAVY RUNS THROUGH MY VEINS, but as for the second? I love Taco Bell, but I was betrayed by Taco Bell fire sauce the other day, as you well know. And I ADORE the hush puppy, but that’s pretty much all I really like from Long John’s besides popcorn shrimp. So I ended up choosing KFC/A&W. I mean… chili cheese, Rachel. Chili cheese. Oh, p.s. our friends SUCK because they keep adding their own illegitimate options!! Whatever, guys. Whatever.

I mailed out my Indiana tax forms today. That’s right – paper. Man, were they a nightmare. I am thoroughly convinced that whoever devised the Indiana tax system was indeed battling a fierce demonic possession at the time.

I can’t wait to go home and watch the OC. And maybe pop a Vicodin.

Peace out homes,
Becca

Becca, Closing thoughts for the day: 1) I wish chicken didn't get stuck in my teeth so much. 2) Thunder can be scary no matter what age you are. 3) Jim Gaffigan is never NOT funny, no matter how many times you've heard his jokes. 4) I can already tell I'm not gonna like paying all these monthly expenses when I'm on my own. 5) I officially have renters insurance now, so if my apartment catches on fire while you're visit and you get burned, I got you covered! 6) I wish Yoshi were a real creature, and my pet. 7) Sometimes I wish I weren't so pale, and I wish I could fly. That's all. I have to close the building now then go to kickboxing. Adios! Luna

I JUST TRIED TO SPORCLE AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED!

Becca,

I'm sorry you are swollen and look like a chipmunk. Actually, I'm more sorry that I can't see it. No, that's not true (it's 15% true). But in all honesty, I really am sorry you are swollen. I know it's rough. I don't know from PERSONAL experience since I didn't swell up when mine were removed, but maybe that's because my surgeon wasn't ridiculously gorgeous (side note: way to NOT take a picture of real life McDreamy for me. Friendship FAIL!). I hope your swelling goes down, I truly do.

I wish I had a dog like Ginger. I would steal her from you but I know you'd be crushed. And I can't be held responsible for crushing you, Christina Aguilera already called that.

You watch a lot of TV. I depend on you to tell me what's going on with TV. Did you watch the musical Grey's Anatomy? I didn't, because it's still lent, but I heard it was good. I'll be very interested to watch it after Easter.

I just ate an AWFUL breakfast. It started out good. Scrambled egg whites, Kix cereal. Then it got worse, but not too much worse. Fat free cottage cheese, but I mixed it with Swedish Lingonberry jelly (YUM!). Then it got REALLY bad. I had a piece of cake and some almond candies. Remember how I told you to eat healthier? Well, do as I say, not as I do. But I'm going to eat super healthy from here on out!! I PROMSE! (I make that promise anew every single day).

I forget what else you posted. I like the picture of danny and eric. How do you make those?

Oh, how's that challenge going I gave you? I really would like to make a video to put on Youtube. I'll see if I have time at work to make some pictures too.

I should show Boberino our blog...but then perhaps he might never want to talk to me again after he realizes the true extent of my insanity. He'll find out eventually anyway, sooner is better than later. Make sure you post a really funny blog so he knows I have funny friends.

Side note: We went bowling Friday night. He made my name on the screen Lunar Landing. So I made his Bobster Lobster. I get alliteration, he gets rhyming. Fair trade.

Side note to the Side Note: (would this really be a side note? Because if the side note is already next to the main body of the message, wouldn't something to the side of the side note bring you back to the body? Confusing) We played 3 games and I scored in the 90s on all. If you think you can beat that then I dare you to come here and take me on. I DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU!

So, went to IKEA yesterday. Boy was that an experience, and EXHAUSTING experience. My legs STILL hurt from that. I swear I was standing in some form for at least 5 hours. It hurts less to do a kickboxing class. But it was fun, as IKEA always is. It made me feel like I was going back to my homeland of Sweden. I just felt like I belonged there. I was singing Party in Sweden the whole way there. My parents hate me now. Mama G and I were SUPER excited! Especially since I knew I could spend a few hundred dollars. I did have a momentary freak out moment when I was pretty sure I was going to be spending around $1200 on stuff. It was all stuff I needed, but I was still freaking out because that's a lot of mula to throw down at once. I was pretty sure I was going to have a heart attack and die right in that there IKEA store, right in the essence of my Swedish heritage. So you can imagine my relief when my total only came to $650ish. Mama G was asking if I wanted the nicer coffee table since I spent less than I thought I would (my budget was $800). But I said no, because I thought that was God's way of showing me that I could spend my money else where, like in wall decorations ;) Either way I don't think God wanted me to spend $800 so I'm glad it all worked out. Here's a list of major things I bought:

coffee table

side table

tv stand

tv sit

mud

bookcase

small desk

small volcano

rainbow

lamp for side table

floor lamp

rainforest leaves

floating shelves (they literally float in mid air)

wand with unicorn hair as its core

I'm putting the stuff I got for the kitchen separately because this is what I'm most excited about. See my kitchen is tiny and space (both cupboard and counter) is limited, so I got some stuff to help me maximize the tiny area:

Tall cabinet to use as a pantry since I won't have one

Spice rack I can hang on the wall

cutting knives (for when you visit)

magnetic strip to put on wall to hold said sharp knives

drinking glasses that are super awesome and match my plates!

Okay, I just now realized that while all this stuff is super exciting to me, it may be boring to the reader. I apologize if this bores you and I would just like to say, suck it up and deal with it because I'm excited and it's my moment to shine and it's my blog anyway.

I need to leave now so I can go grocery shopping. I have two new recipes from my Hungry Girl cookbook I'm going to try. One is for chicken breaded in Funyons and sour cream and onion potato chips. The other are fruit tarts for small group on Thursday. Please be reminded that BOTH of these delicious sounding recipes are from my HEALTHY cookbook. See, healthy can be delicious.

Sorry this blog was boring. If you post today, I'll post back and make it more exciting.

Rachel

I have far too much time on my hands.

You're welcome,

Becca

Rachel,

I can't believe we have a new follower. Official new follower shout out heyyyyyyyyyy (with appropriate accompanying head bob). Nice to have you :)

My right cheek is the size of a grapefruit. I know you requested a photograph, but I will not send you one. I know you better than to give you that kind of power. Ever since my dad called me his little chipmunk, I cannot talk to my parents without some sort of mockery. Well, mockery from him and worry from my mother. Such as the following: "Hey Mom, look at this cute ring!" "Oh honey, you should really get some ice...." Basically the only thing she has said to me today is that I need more ice. My face is really tired of being cold. What I am enjoying, though? Being coddled. And being able to tell people that I am heavily medicated. And watching episodes of House about his vicodin addiction, and then popping a vicodin myself.

Danny tried to mess with me yesterday while I was loopy. He said something about unicorns in uniforms and then something about pudding being made of honey and rainbows... I am assuming he knew I was drugged up, but I can't be sure.

Ginger is licking my computer. Also, earlier, she tried to jump over me and ran right into the table. And yesterday she sympathy snored with my dad. Well, she growled while he snored. I'm not sure if she was growling AT his snoring, or if she thought they were perhaps both growling together. A sense of camaraderie, you see. I love her. You're right to demand a dog.

I will save my list of things my hubs must know... for my hubs. But I like the whole Becca-Rachel package thing. YOU JUST TEXTED ME THAT YOU ARE BREAKING THE RULES!!! For SHAME, Rachel. For shame. I hope you and the Bobster read this together as a date activity. Best date ever? No.

I said no.

I think you should be the host of Cash Cab. And if not you, then me. I could do it. I have been watching so much TV... mainly because my parents won't let me do anything else, lest I unclot my blood clot. Mother even called me "disabled" earlier. Regardless... I can't wait to watch Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy tonight. #oldlady My dad and I are very competitive when it comes to trivia games. WELL. He may get the science questions, but I get everything else. I LOVE LUCY! I have some legitimate questions about Cash Cab. Does he tailor his questions to his passengers? Like, if it's a group of pretty girls who would look great on TV, does he make sure he asks them questions about fashion and stuff like that to make sure that they stay in the car for longer? Does he reject passengers? What if they're really boring? How many people do you think refuse to play? If they don't play, does he drive them anyway or does he kick them out? WHAT IF THEY'RE HAVING A BABY?! Soo many questions.

I think instead of the Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, we should create the Deadly Secrets of the Yada-Yada Sisterhood.

STOP TELLING PEOPLE I'M SWOLLEN, MOM.

Yada-yada,

Becca