Because, Rachel, water is evaporated from ocean and then blows over land and gets denser and denser until it is too heavy and just falls to the earth. We just got a big stream of dense air. It’s called SCIENCE. I actually don’t know if that’s how it works, but it makes sense to me. Speaking of rain, I am always really upset when I fly because I look at the fluffy clouds out the window and know that they do not feel like cotton candy. That’s one thing I wish adulthood hadn’t stolen from me.

I won’t be blogging much either. Chris decided to crack down on us hard. It’s illegal to whip employees, right?
I almost got Chinese today because I forgot my lunch. Then I didn’t want to pay for it.

I know ALL about benefits because I have had to stinking use mine so much. Vomitocious. And you know what YOU KNOW WHAT?! I got a fortune cookie near the end of last year saying that this year would be medically difficult for me!!! So maybe I prefer the non-fortunes, like “sever the ignorant doubt in your heart with the sword of self-knowledge”. Or whatever.

I decided that I am glad we don’t work in a skyscraper downtown because I wouldn’t want to be in one of those during a tornado. I grew up in tornado country, yes, but that doesn’t mean I WOULDN’T DESTROY EVERYONE IN MY PATH IN MY FRENZY TOWARD THE ELEVATORS. I don’t really know what kind of damage a tornado could do to a skyscraper though. Could it take it down? Thinking about this got me watching tornado videos on youtube. Which then got me watching funnel cake videos (funnel clouds --> funnel cakes). Which then got me watching fried coke videos. I discovered a vendor at the Indiana State Fair who sells fried coke – sorry, fried Coke – fried Oreos, fried candy bars, etc. I’m trying it all. But back to tornadoes. It reminds me of that dream I had a while back where my parents and I were at the top of a skyscraper and I saw a tornado coming, so we ran for the stairs. Then my mom’s legs stopped working, but my dad just ran away frantically, so I had to drag her down the stairs myself. But he ended up having a heart attack, so I guess we were even in the end.

Oh! Last night during the tornadoes, I grabbed all of my most prized possessions, which included the following: my quilt, my pillow, Tropical and Henry (my turtle), my computer, my Bible, and my tax forms BECAUSE I WILL NOT DO THOSE AGAIN. I returned with all of them, plus a bottle of gin.

I’m really enjoying my Sinatra Pandora station. This is probably my favorite type of music. I kind of want to move to New York just so I can frequent jazz clubs. There’s a bar downtown here that I want to go to. It’s technically a cigar/cocktail lounge, but I bet it’s the kind of scene I would enjoy. I’ve always known I was made for the Roaring 20s. I should start dressing as a flapper every day. It’s who I really am.

Speaking of tornadoes AND speaking of New York, I wouldn’t mind living there because then everyone else’s houses would stop the tornado before it got to mine. Pretty sure.

Let’s move to New York.

My boss just called me by my last name. I liked it. It makes me feel legit.

Totos,
Becca

P.S. That was supposed to say “Toots” but I like the way it turned out.