Rachel,

I can't believe we have a new follower. Official new follower shout out heyyyyyyyyyy (with appropriate accompanying head bob). Nice to have you :)

My right cheek is the size of a grapefruit. I know you requested a photograph, but I will not send you one. I know you better than to give you that kind of power. Ever since my dad called me his little chipmunk, I cannot talk to my parents without some sort of mockery. Well, mockery from him and worry from my mother. Such as the following: "Hey Mom, look at this cute ring!" "Oh honey, you should really get some ice...." Basically the only thing she has said to me today is that I need more ice. My face is really tired of being cold. What I am enjoying, though? Being coddled. And being able to tell people that I am heavily medicated. And watching episodes of House about his vicodin addiction, and then popping a vicodin myself.

Danny tried to mess with me yesterday while I was loopy. He said something about unicorns in uniforms and then something about pudding being made of honey and rainbows... I am assuming he knew I was drugged up, but I can't be sure.

Ginger is licking my computer. Also, earlier, she tried to jump over me and ran right into the table. And yesterday she sympathy snored with my dad. Well, she growled while he snored. I'm not sure if she was growling AT his snoring, or if she thought they were perhaps both growling together. A sense of camaraderie, you see. I love her. You're right to demand a dog.

I will save my list of things my hubs must know... for my hubs. But I like the whole Becca-Rachel package thing. YOU JUST TEXTED ME THAT YOU ARE BREAKING THE RULES!!! For SHAME, Rachel. For shame. I hope you and the Bobster read this together as a date activity. Best date ever? No.

I said no.

I think you should be the host of Cash Cab. And if not you, then me. I could do it. I have been watching so much TV... mainly because my parents won't let me do anything else, lest I unclot my blood clot. Mother even called me "disabled" earlier. Regardless... I can't wait to watch Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy tonight. #oldlady My dad and I are very competitive when it comes to trivia games. WELL. He may get the science questions, but I get everything else. I LOVE LUCY! I have some legitimate questions about Cash Cab. Does he tailor his questions to his passengers? Like, if it's a group of pretty girls who would look great on TV, does he make sure he asks them questions about fashion and stuff like that to make sure that they stay in the car for longer? Does he reject passengers? What if they're really boring? How many people do you think refuse to play? If they don't play, does he drive them anyway or does he kick them out? WHAT IF THEY'RE HAVING A BABY?! Soo many questions.

I think instead of the Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, we should create the Deadly Secrets of the Yada-Yada Sisterhood.

STOP TELLING PEOPLE I'M SWOLLEN, MOM.

Yada-yada,

Becca