Becca,

I pulled another muscle last night at the gym. This time I pulled my left quad muscle in my leg. I was saving a baby alligator from a burning tire. I have to be running out of muscles to pull by now right? So now I have ice on my leg and when it gets too cold I put a heating pad on it. I've discovered that I prefer the heating pad to the ice.

Oh shoot! I need to E-Verify someone! BRB.

Well shoot, now I have an orientatin. Be back in 30 minutes. Start counting NOW!

BACK! It didn't quite take as long as expected. It helps when they're only part time. I know that means nothing to you, but it means a lot to me.

I realized I need to read more books on HR and learn about all the legal stuff like employment law. Exciting stuff. I wish my job required interesting reading, like Nancy Drew.

I need to Sporcle more. Sporcling made me smart. I could name almost all the countries of the world at one time. I liked being smart.

Speaking of being smart, you know what I was thinking about this morning as I flossed my teeth? I was looking way back into my mouth and it made me think of my wisdom teeth and how they are no longer there keeping my molars company. Then I realized, right after my wisdom teeth were removed, my ability to talk plummeted. I've been slurring my speech and suffering from verbal dislexia ever since. I can't seem to string a sentence together. I think I am literally less wise without my wisdom teeth. It's either that or the excessive booze.

Your post made me hungry for sushi. I think there's a sushi place by my work. I should try it some day, when I find a $20 bill on the ground since sushi is expensive. Unless you buy it from Kroger, which, while not real sushi, is still pretty darn good in my book (appropriately titled "Things I Think Are Pretty Darn Good")

I should start watching slash reading the news more. I have no idea what's going on out there. I JUST found out Bill Clinton was impeached for being a dirty, dirty man.

I just poured a LOT of Kix into my mouth accidentally. Now I'm having a hard time chewing it. I bet I look ridiculous.

I JUST GOT A START! Normally I hate getting starts because it means I have to actually do my job. But this time I'm glad. Allow me to now explain my gladness despite the obvious irrelevance to you. See, we've gotten a lot of terminations lately, which means we're making less money. THAT means we're less likely to go on that cruise. That's not okay with me. But with each start we have more of a chance to go on that cruise. YAY! Plus I can pronounce her name. That's always a good sign.

I bet I'd be a good lion tamer. Part time job? Yes.

What are your thoughts on bowling? Here are Jim Gaffigan's thoughts on the sport.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5fm7QPA9zY

I've been itching to go ice skating lately. When I was young, Tara Lapinski was my hero. Seriously. #triplesowcow

I have to put in a Sam's Club order for the office today. I'm gonna switch out some of our current snacks and replace them with healthier ones so we can all live longer. You're welcome arteries of fellow employees.

Okay, this has gone on long enough.

Bye

Rachel