Racheesy,

I have had "Voice of Truth" in my head all day long. Not that I'm complaining, but OH MY GOSH I just got another song in my head! Right as I wrote that! "Just Around Riverbend" from Pocahont

Okay this is how I just got distracted:

1. My sister asked for my help in making CDs for her high school girls (she helps lead the HS ministry at her church) and I LOVE SUGGESTING SONGS!!!!

2. I realized my milkshake has been slowly spilling all around me for the past ten minutes. Clean-up was urgent. I'm now sitting on towels. Reminds of that one time at Ruby Tuesday.

I have a milkshake because I decided to treat myself with it while I finished up on my Covenant applications. Technically, it's a malt. Delicious. And I am almost done! But I am sooo nervous to turn them in.. ahhh....

I helped teach inner city children to jump rope on Wednesday. To be more accurate, they laughed at me as I tried to jump and twirl the double dutch ropes for them. But they loved me anyway. Then I "tutored" one of them. She didn't need my help.

My sister's friend is applying for Wipeout on ABC. I think you should apply for that, fierce and intimidating as you are. We should also apply for the Amazing Race together on ABC's rival network CBS. We're of age. We're young and beautiful. We like to travel. WE ARE FUN TO WATCH. I don't see how they wouldn't be dying to get us on there. Plus, opp to talk about Jesus on a national/international platform!!! Spread the word, baby. No no... spread the Word. I don't even care about the money, especially seeing as I just remembered it.

Okay so you know those cards we had as kids that had like trivia questions on them? They were a bunch of cards connected on a ring. One had a bunch of questions, and the next had the answers, and they went by grade level. I forget what they're called, but I grew up with them, and they had them at the center last night. I was looking at the 7th grade one, and guess what question the average 7th grader is supposed to know the answer to. Guess. I'LL TELL YOU! "What is the full name of the movie Star Trek VI?" What the guac, Rachel? What normal kid would know that??! By the way, it's Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country. Whatever.

I feel like I keep hearing a Wookiee. Speaking of, I've been working on my Wookie impression. Next phone call, remind me.

Back to the grind.

Becca :)

Becca,

I haven't been sick for two months. But it's the same thing. I hate being sick. It leaves an awful taste in my mouth. That was metaphorical. Like saying it's a pain in the neck. Actually, it literally is a pain in my back. I need the hot tub. I'm bring overly dramatic like always though. It's for comedic effect.

And no, your first paragraph did NOT make me feel better. I still felt creeped out.

I'm in a different office right now typing on a different computer. This keyboard makes a louder sound when I type. I like it. The louder the better. I am sure by now you are asking yourself "hmm, I wonder why Rachel is on a different computer?" Allow me to tell you my dear friend, allow me to tell you. See the computer in my cubicle is freakishly slow. LIKE GLACIALLY SLOW! So they made a new computer for me. But because of some of the software I have to use, they had to basically specially design it for me. So I'm over in the recruiting office today testing it out. So far so good.

I can't wait to go home, sleep, and let Mama G take care of me. You know what I just realized. This sickness thing is all happening because I haven't been eating crackers!!! I'm literally in cracker withdrawal. Now I know what drug rehab feels like. Remind me to never do drugs.

Soooooo, I have to go to the bathroom, and I'm out of things to say. I'm going to try to leave early but we'll see how that goes.

So long, farewell.
Rachel

You know, Rachel, that tends to happen.

The way I see it, it's biblical. God created this world; He is beautiful, and He loves beauty. Therefore, if a man appreciates your beauty, it is because He is made in the image of God and cannot help but do so. Does that make you feel better????? (LOL)

I enjoyed your poem. This is second time you've been sick recently. You must've angered Muny somehow and now he is holding a grudge. Perhaps you should have a talk with him about forgiveness. I also enjoy poetry in general, and tend to believe that this haiku war is the best thing twitter has ever seen.

My pinkies are cold.

I got the afternoon off! We have a big six-month report due for AmeriCorps (halfway through our year of service) and we got the afternoon off to go do it. So four of us went to Starbucks after lunch, and it only took me like two hours. So I went to Trader Joe's and came home. Oh and guess what, I purchased my first beer! Lol I'm lame to be excited. I don't even like beer, but I am determined to explore my options, and it was only a dollar. So I got a beer and hard cider, and pretzel bread to go with it (since it is a "German Oktoberfest ale"). I also bought a lot of cheese.

I sent a package out in the mail. After working really hard at the post office to apply the right postage, IT GOT RETURNED TO SENDER TODAY FOR HAVING THE INCORRECT POSTAGE!!!!!! I have no idea what went wrong. That machine must have lied to me.

Ode to the Horrible Post Office Weight Stamp-Dispensing Machine:

Oh horrible post office weight stamp-dispensing machine, you too have failed me.

All I wanted was the right postage,

But you lied,

And you deceived.

You probably thought it was funny to trick me so,

But it wasn't.

You horrible waste of space, I will get you back.

"Justice is mine," sayeth the LORD,

But I don't think that applies to you.

For you are metal

And plastic

And evil

All rolled into one useless package.

So beware, machine,

Beware.

I don't know how to write an ode. Oh well.

Bye!

Becca :)

Becca,

I thought I would tell you about the awkward moment of the night from the party on Saturday. At the end of the party, the wife of one of our consultants told me she thought I was Ed's wife (he's a fellow staff member in our office). It was awkward. She said she went up to him and said "I just met your wife." So he knew. Then I told Megan about it. I just got out of a staff meeting where Megan told everyone if they see Mama G in the office to tell her thanks for all her help and Ed said "My mother-in-law was there?" and then Megan blurted out that someone thought I was Ed's wife at the party. So now everyone knows. EVERYONE! There's a joke going around that I'm his work wife. It makes me uncomfortable. MAKE IT STOP!

I also had a lot of older gentlemen in their 60s telling me how pretty I looked. One guy even held my hand when he said it. Creepy.

That's all,
Rachel

Ode to a Failed Immune System

Oh Immune System, how you have failed me so
I was healthy yesterday
but today, oh today.
I woke up coughing heaves of nothing into the air
And my arms feel as if they were made of stone
My golden throat
has turned to firey sandpaper
and my world so much darker.
Oh Immune system, how you have failed me so
After all I do for you
I sleep
I drink fruit juice
I wash my hands
and this is how you repay me!?!
But allowing this virus to take hold of me
Immune system,
we are no longer friends
for you have failed me
yet again.

-Rachel Fuhrman

Becca,

This is ooze: Notice the creepy Frankenstein face in the bottom right corner. This is characteristic of all oozes.

And you're right, I should read your other blog more often so I know what's going on in your life. I don't make enough time for old friends. I really don't. I'll take short breaks throughout the day and read some of your blog. Don't be surprised if I text more asking how your life is going. Keep calling me out on it because I don't want to lose you.

Rachel

Predator,

I hope you know that in almost all movies, the prey ends up winning. Eventually. I will now respond to your numerical list in an equally numerical fashion.

1. Feed it.

2. Either way, it ain't good.

3. What is ooze exactly? I don't think an ice pack can leak ooze. It can ooze something, but it can't ooze ooze. That's both redundant and inaccurate. Point being -- I don't know.

4. Perhaps you need an inhaler? That's weird. Is it just really hot and stuffy in there? Crack a window, sister. Unless you're in a massively tall building and are too high up to open a window. Remember when you tried to convince me that your building is a mile long? I believed you... I am so naive.

5. Money... I feel like I've heard of it. What's it like?

6. That's impressive I suppose. It reminds me of The Devil Wears Prada when that dude calls her Six because it was her size and obnoxiously large for the fashion world. Then she shrunk to size four and it was a big moment. I have never been a size six... perhaps one day. But probably not. That's nice Mama G bought you a dress though!

7. Color looks good on pale. Wear lip gloss every once in a while, it's fun. I bought red the other day, and it has mouthwash in it, so when you lick your lips it freshens your lips. #wortheverypenny

8. I think you have. I hope you have.

9. Yeah... don't use it. Along with many others. It's actually a long list. Example -- my boss today said that he's glad he didn't have to go up against the tribe of Levi and have his loins shattered. He said that, Rachel. In my presence.

10. Sure. I'd also dress in an 80s track suit and make obnoxious signs and bring a loudspeaker and a bubble machine AND my harmonica.

11. Love the church. But no, not really.

12. Don't Stop Believin'. Always and forever. That reminds me of Phil's "Always Forever," one of my favorite songs ever in the entire universe, regardless of decade.

13. Yeah ok. Your body is crumbling like Professor Quirrell in HP1.

14. I have some at my desk right now. Multi-grain clubs -- your favorite. I had them for lunch yesterday lqtm. I think I'll have one right now. Mmmmm... DELICIOUS. I didn't really want a cracker, but I wanted to taunt you. Then I didn't want to lie about it, so I had to eat one. It was still pretty good though.

15. I thought you wanted to go to Famous Daves. #fastestfoodever

16. That would be fun. It's just like Million Dollar Baby. Except I never saw that movie.

17. Take it off and wait for it to get hot. Except since this is a day later, it doesn't really matter anymore.

18. Pray against it if you haven't already.

19. I look forward to it. You will be smokin. Old Hollywood?! Come on.......

20. Ok. Since this is a free spot, I will say something else. I had a really dramatic drive to work today. I could have not come in, but I kind of felt like an adventure. BOY, did I get one. Going home's going to be hardcore!! Also, you should read my other blog to keep up on my life. Also, my right hand is dry but my left hand is perfect. Also, I have to go on an AmeriCorps retreat... #areyoukiddingme? Also, I am going to start meeting with a girl from work to talk about the Holy Spirit and the Bible :) Also, I want to go back to Oxford. Also, also.

Also,

Becca

P.S. Also.

Prey,

Because of my extreme amount of work at work I shall write a long blog to you, but in small increments. Here we go.

1) My stomach is growly and it will only get louder until I feed it.

2) I haven't taken a lunch in 3 days. I can't tell if I'm complaining or boasting...

3) My ice pack for my hamstring is leaking ooze. I need to buy a new one

4) I think I might quit my job. Simply because I find it hard to breathe here. No, that is not a clever way of saying I feel smothered by the mundanness of my job. I literally mean I can't breathe. There's something about my office that makes it harder for me to breathe. That reminds me of Maroon 5's first single.

5) SO MUCH OVERTIME = MORE MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

6) Mama G bought me a new dress for the party this weekend. I'm really excited to wear it. Why are you so excited to wear it Rachel? That's an excellent question, allow me to answer it. Because it's a size 6!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I haven't worn a size six since freshman year of high school.

7) Mama G is obsessed with getting me to wear lip gloss. It's rather disturbing. I have nice lips for lip gloss, although I feel it looks slightly clownish when I put any sort of color on my lips because my skin is so pale.

8) I have a huge zit on my face. I can't wait until I grow out of puberty.

9) Puberty is possibly one of the most awkward words I know of.

10) If I ran a marathon would you come wait for me at the finish line with a box of crackers? (shhh don't tell my trainer)

11) How is your new church going? Are you making any friends?

12) Favorite 80's song = Livin' On A Prayer

13) I literally have a pain in my neck right now. Strange.

14) I WANT CRACKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

15) My 8 year old neighbor girl and I are going to go on a double date with our imaginary boyfriends. I hope they take us to Cheesecake Factory.

16) My brother said if I got punching gloves for him he'd hold them up while I practiced my boxing and punched him over and over again. Childhood dream coming true right in front of you.

17) This Icy Hot patch is still in the icy stage and it's making me cold.

18) I don't like how much gossip goes on in my office.

19) I'm gonna send you a picture of me when I'm all dolled up for the event Saturday. I'm hoping to get a good profile picture out of it.

20) This is the last one.

I'm done.

Goodbye,
Predator.

Silent Devil,

It is a rarity anymore. I hope things start to slow down for you at work. But if not, it's no big deal. I'm not on that much either anymore because I got convicted about slacking off at work and doing things that I shouldn't be doing. So I only blog when I remember to do so at home, which is rare.

I am so very, very intensely pleased that you had a good birthday. I was secretly hoping you would come to Ox, but it's completely okay that you did not. It sounds like you had a great day and a great balance of activities. We shall celebrate another time when we are together. Especially because I still have your gift.

You could try to hurt me. You wouldn't be able to find me.

I am currently obsessed with Jars of Clay's "Oh My God." It's an amaaaaazing song. So much honesty in there. Convicting. Beautiful. I like it so much and cannot stop listening to it.

Oxford was fun. I quite enjoyed it. As always, it was a little hard because eeeeeeeeeeveryone just wants a piece of me, Rachel!!! I mean, I can't blame them. I'm kind of awesome. #humble!! Oh, I'm going to start #tagging everything. Because like I said... #awesome. But anyway, I got to do almost everything on my wish list. And it was great to just chill with people and hang out. I miss that so very much when I'm not there. Apparently I missed all the good Jesus discussions which is #LAME but I had great talks with people and I loved it. I also took a lot of naps in your honor.

I had great quiet time today. Great, I tell you!!!!!

I made a to-do list on my hand. I am almost completely done with it, which makes me feel very efficient. However, I don't think this pen will come off for days.

I stayed up until 3am watching Justin Bieber videos the other day. #bieberfever

As I texted you, I found myself making strange noises out loud in Starbucks earlier. I realized what I was doing after a few seconds and tried to cover it up, but it did no good. I was going, in a high-pitched voice, "PEEBLE PEEBLE PEEBLE!" and then lowered my voice and tried to make it into a reprimanding "peeeooooople, people, people." I don't know if anyone saw. I had my head lowered in shame.

I'm hungry but I don't feel like eating.

I will listen to your new song tonight! Hurrah! I hope you don't mumble, fellow mumbler!!

Most certainly,

Me

P.S. Tell Mama G thanks sooo much for the card and "gift". Same to you ;)

You,

I'm blogging. This has been a rarity lately.

My birthday was good. My birthday weekend was better. Here's what I did:

1) Hung for for girl's morning with the girls in my small group. It was AWESOME. We talked about things we wanted to be held accountable for and they called me out on some things I needed to be called out on. It was hard to hear but it's exactly what I needed and wasn't getting. I'm glad I have people in my life now who love me enough to call me out.
2) Boxing lesson. Always a good time. They're gonna start a martial arts kicking class on Saturdays. Becca, do you know what all this means? I can totally beat you up. My trainer said my boxer name would be The Silent Devil because I'm all nice and innocent normally but when you put gloves on me I'm a different person. I have to admit though, I feel uncomfortable being compared to the devil...
3) Family dinner. Mama G homecooked mean equals always a good thing.
4) Girl's night with Jen and Elizabeth involving a movie and drinks afterwards. It was a lot of fun and something I needed because I haven't gone out with friends in a long time. We went to Texas Roadhouse and apparently it was Carrie Underwood/Taylor Swift night because I swear that's ALL THEY PLAYED! But I was okay with that.
5) went scuba diving in the artic to find Santa's secret underwater workshop

K well I'm going to go because I promised myself that I would make my lunch breaks more productive. I need to laminate Luna Points.

Sincerely,
Not You

I will be in Oxford which is halfway...

Well first, I think you should gather 23 elephants and teach them how to dance. Put them in a circle, each with a friend on top who is waving 23 Chinese fans. Sprinkle them with gold dust and then laden them each with 23 jewels. Then, get 23 fairies for each elephant so that they are all aglow with magic. Then get 23 belly dancers to perform within the circle, while you watch with Jake Gyllenhaal sitting on 23 pillows surrounded by 23 Grammy awards drinking 23 milkshakes for 23 minutes. After that, maybe go to a movie or something.

Well whaddya know, it IS my birthday! Thank you for making my birthday so special with all your silly texting antics. It seriously made my day Becca. So everyone has been asking me if I'm gonna do anything fun. And I have to say no, unless you count punching a guy fun (boxing lesson tonight). But I seriously don't have any fun plans for my birthday, either tonight or this weekend. That kinda makes me slightly depressed. I didn't want my life to get this boring. I'm gonna get some girls around C-bus to go out for drinks maybe on Saturday night. You're more than welcome to come visit me this weekend for my birthday (wink wink). I will end with asking for suggestions from you about what wild and crazy and super fun thing I should do for my 23rd birthday.

GO!

ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT'SSSSSSSSSSS

YYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

BIIIIIRRRRRTTTTHHHDDDDDAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One more, same guy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cm79Jo3-yHc&feature=player_embedded

Let me know about Elizabeth!

Becca,

I am breaking the rules for you right now. I am blogging when I should be working. I hope you appreciate the extreme risk I am taking for you right now. The penalty of getting caught NOT working is DEATHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I'm going to do a super short post with just some of my thought nuggets.

A) Actually having work to do at work SUCKS!

B) Today at 2pm is Elizabeth's interview here. PLEASE PRAY!!!!! She needs this job badly.

C) I'm on a fridge

Che) I started reading Mere Christianity last night. I read the entire first chapter out loud with a Brisith accent after I learned C to the S Lewis was British and originally gave the book as a talk on the radio.

D) We hired a new guy. I know it might be wrong, but I secretly hope he's young, attractive, and loves Jesus. Oh, and single...

E) My computer background always makes me laugh

Effe) I took a kickboxing class last night at the gym. The instructor called me Luna several times. It made me VERY HAPPY! I think I'll give him Luna points for doing that.

Adios!
Luna

I went on project with this jewel of a man. He emceed the Boston Winter Conference. And made this. Enjoy. I sure did.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsOlIkCgDlI

Rachel, Amy found a diamond in the ruff.... whenparentstext.com

Becca,
I don't have time to respond right now to your post, but I just want you to know that you earned some SERIOUS Luna points with that background you made for my birthday. I will send you 35 Luna points in the mail in the next week or two. I meant SERIOUS!

Luna

Phoebe: You wouldn't hold up well under torture.

Monica: Oh, and you would?

Phoebe: I DID!!!

I shouldn't have done this... but I did.

What up homes.

Speaking of homes, HOUSE HUNTERS IS MY FAVORITE SHOW!!!!!!!!! Well, one of. (I at first put “on of” and I knew an extra letter belonged somewhere, but I couldn’t figure out where. I have been out of school tooooo long.) I could sit there and watch it all the live long day. And night. All day and night! I tried one day over Christmas break. There was marathon, and I was having a grand ol time, but apparently Papa Bear has a problem with me watching TV from across the house while we’re trying to have a family dinner. What? And he also has a problem with me keeping him from watching his football. They should have an urban big city version of that show. You know what their new theme song should be? “Someday I’ll be livin in a big ol city, and all you’re ever gonna be is mean!” Not really, but that’s for all the House Hunters h8rz out there.

“Innocent” really is a great song.

Uhhh you won’t be able to knock my lights out because 1) I am quick as a whip, 2) I have nine lives and I won’t tell you how many of them I’ve used already (at least three), and 3) I too took a kickboxing class. And by class, I mean I watched a few videos on youtube and tried to follow along. Regardless I AM FIERCE do not MESS WITH ME!!!!!

I was super drunk on the Spirit last night for no apparent reason and I clapped like I have never clapped before.

I forgot about Greek. That’ll give me something new to watch on my lunch break. As long as it’s not toooo risqué this season. And Rusty and Ashleigh? Really? Isn’t she bigger than he is? Not to impose my standards on others, but… awkward.

Yes. It is the new year stretch. Eight million days with NO BREAK AT ALL. It’s rough. I’m going to take a day off at some point, I just know it. Maybe for a nice Oxford visit. That would be nice. Sammy and Tiff don’t have any classes on Fridays, so maybe I’ll give them an entiiiiiiiiiiiiire day of Becca. #generous

My New Years was super fantabulous. I had a most wonderful splendiferous (lolz it spell checked that for me) soul-soaring night. It was really fun to see everybody again and to all be together for a little bit. I didn’t think we’d ever have that again, you know? But then I was really, really, REALLY sad when they all left. I can’t tell you how much I cried throughout the week. But it was just really refreshing for my heart… both with friends and with the Lord. If only you and Riley had been there!! Oh, we saw the Fiji team off. They are officially there! Prayers!

I am back on facebook. Party.

I really enjoy your resolutions. Except for the fact that the International Space Station is already built, I think they’re great. My resolution is just to love people more and be more available, both physically and emotionally.

Birthday background – ON IT.

My co-worker just took me to the bathroom and pulled down her pants. No no…. she showed me the massive bruises all the way up and down her leg. From what, you ask? New Years Eve. She was dancing at a party and got a little crazy with a tambourine. lololololololololol.

Bye now,
Becca

Becca,

Sorry I haven't blogged in a while. I actually have work to do now so I can't blog my day away. Trust me, I wish I didn't have anything to do so I could blog to you all the time. Unfortunately it looks like I'll stay busy for a little while because we're knee deep in planning for the New Year's Party and after that we have open enrollment for our medical benefits, which apparently is a headache. But I am not afraid to say that after the ordeal, I should be an expert on medical benefits, in case you ever need an expert on medical benefits in the future.

I just ate a homemade chicken enchilada for lunch. IT WAS DELICIOUS! I was only going to eat one half and eat the other half around 4:30 because I have a personal training sessions again tonight and last time matt yelled at me for not eating. He didn't really yell as much as he screamed and tortured me.

After having two straight weeks of only working 4 days, it's gonna be hard to work 5 this week. Wanna know the sucky part? I don't get another holiday off until Memorial Day. THAT'S LIKE A THOUSAND DAYS AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did you know Greek premieres tonight? It looks like Rusty and Ashleigh will finally get together this season like I predicted last season. I truly am amazing.

So as if you don't already have enough reasons to fear me, I shall now give you one more. I have started taking a boxing class at my gym. That's right, BOXING! I even went out and bought my own boxking gloves. Honestly, I LOVE IT! Never in my life would I have thought I'd have this much fun boxing. I think it's mainly because it makes me feel super intense like I could be in an action movie. So in summary, DON'T GET ON MY BAD SIDE OR I'LL PUNCH YOUR LIGHTS OUT! (because I know how to now)

How was your New Year's? Mine was good. Relaxing. I just sat around with the parental units and watched House Hunters (my new fav show) and old family videos. We watched one of me as a wee little baby and Mama G was trying to feed me and I wasn't having none of dat! Becca, do you know what she did?! She tried to feed me watered down apple juice. WATERED DOWN APPLE JUICE! Who does that to a young child?! Clearly I wanted chocolate milk, or at least regular apple juice.

I also wrote a song. I wrote a song last Tuesday also. I'm a song writing machine.

It's a party in Sweden!!!

New York and Company was having a sale on jewelry so I bought two necklaces and two bracelets. I'm excited because I never by that kind of stuff for myself.

Did you make any New Year's resolutions for 2011? Here are mine:

1) Run at least a half marathon
2) Spend more time with my music
3) Move into my own apartment
4) Finish my time machine
5) Build a skyscraper
6) Find me a man!
7) Translate the bible into British
8) Star in a major motion picture film
9) Sing a duet with Johnny Cash
10) Finish building the International Space Station
11) Win the Kentucky Derby
12) Learn to fiddle on a roof
13) Clone myself
14) Get Miley to wear clothes
15) Use my super human powers for good

Luna points are alive and well my friend, alive and well. I haven't had small group yet so I can't hand them out there yet, but the people at my gym love them! I'm becoming famous for them.

Lastly, don't forget to make me a new desktop background for my birthday. Here's what I want:

A crocodile eating a cheeseburger from Hardee's while balancing on a tight rope over a field of daises during a tornado. Plus also include pictures of the following: Me, Myself, I, Michael Buble singing to me, Sweden, maracas, pizza, and let's put Jake in there again. I like looking at him.

Hope this holds you over for a few days. Or weeks.

Sincerely,
I'm trying the best I can...