D Rizzle? Where does the D come from? Also, D Rizzle was the nickname of my high school American government teacher. Dennis Rissler. D Rizzle, or R Digglet. He was a crowd favorite.

That was a long post. We really have been lacking on our postage. And by postage, I mean number and frequency of blog posts, not the costly adhesive paper required by the United States Postal Service. I hope Sarah liked it. And by Sarah, I mean Megan.

So at the wedding last weekend, besides almost passing out, throwing up, and falling over several times, I also reaffirmed my LOVE for Michael Buble. I’m glad you mentioned him. His voice is like delicious, delicious butter. And ohhhh how I love butter. Readers, just fyi, I did not get married. But if being a bridesmaid was any indication, when I do… it’s going to be disastrous. Oh also, when I got my hair done, the lady was horrified by my bangs. She was all, “Did you… cut these… yourself?” “Yes,” I said, “in a fit of bitter rage.” “Oh… well… let me just fix them up a bit for you….” I’m not complaining. Got a free touch-up.

I’m glad I’m not alone in having really weird dreams. I told you about the one I was a male soap opera star right? I’m not gonna lie… I was attractive. I bet I would have made a good looking man. But anyway, I feel not so alone when you also have strange night visions (I didn’t want to use “dreams” again). I also feel not so alone when I go to la casa Gomez. Mainly because Carrie’s brother Stephen also has wide, creepy eyes, but also because they’re a big family of culture-lovin weirdos. Know what I missed last week? Family yodeling night.

You know what I realized last week when I went to visit my friend and her new baby during lunch? There is really NO good TV on during the day. Nothing! Except for shows on USA, of course, but if you only have basic cable? You’re FORCED to watch either soap operas or Spanish cooking shows. Obv, I choose the Spanish cooking shows. But really, can you blame housewives and stay-home moms who get addicted to soaps? It’s not their fault! IT’S A CONSPIRACY.

So I assume you saw my tweet about dying. Because I literally thought I was. I think I got food poisoning… FROM CHEESE. Can you believe it?!?!?! I mean, it’s my own fault for eating moldy cheese (I got the mold off first), but still. I have never felt so betrayed by anything in my entire life. Not even when Canada rejected me. And you know how I feel about Canada.

I’ve been eating really poorly this week because I only have a few dollars to last me until my next payday. I really want to do something about this… America is OBSESE and UNHEALTHY because cheap foods SUCK. It’s so dumb.

So I've completed my coffee-personality theory. I think it's really good. The way you take your coffee corresponds to specific personality traits. As you drink yours with lots of cream and sugar, it means you are talkative, open and honest, a little quirky, and even a little naive. No offense on that last part. This is a science. I can't apologize.

Thank you so much for that list of your favorite foods. I already knew most of them, but it’s helpful. Here’s a list of my favorite foods:

1) Food.

I’m not hard to please.

These are the Ds of our Ls
Playa Riviera (my pimp name)

Also, WELCOME to our newest follower Megan!!!!!!!!! We are excited to have you join us on our epic journey chalk (chock? I doubt the word is actually chalk) full of adventure, laughter, tears, jokes, the occasional snide remark, and most definitely frequent references to Psych. We hope you enjoy!

Playa,

Just to clarify, I meant the Spanish word for beach, not the Ebonics word for player or a gentleman who is very good at attracting multiple women at the same time.

So before you get all huffy and puffy about me not blogging in FOREVER, you should know the I TRIED to blog last week but it wouldn't let me! Scouts' honor. And I was in girl scouts for a year SO THAT COUNTS BECCA! Also, you should know that I spent many MANY hours yesterday typing up the perfect blog in a word document so I could copy and paste it here when I was done. But now the stupid blog won't let me paste it. GET IT TOGETHER GOGGLE BLOGGER!!!!!!!!

I just drank a cup of coffee (in my word document I put couple instead of cup) and now my whole body feels 5 degrees warmer. Is that natural? Whatever it is, it's not cool on a 90 degree day. I just realized my play on words with the cool thing. Sometimes I'm more witty, or wittier as I'd say, than I realize. But then I realize it, so that moment doesn't last very long.

I have decided that Riley has the coolest job EVER and I'm incredibly jealous. We need to start a business that's cooler. Just sayin'

Here is a list of my favorite foods:

1) crackers

2) sweet potatoes

3) chicken

4) Famous Dave's

5) Margaritas

6) nachos

7) Snickers

8) crickets

9) mangoes

10) pie (any kind)

Which one do you think I wasn't serious about?

Riley got to shoot (shot in word document) 3 different guns today, including a full automatic M16. ALL CAPS CANNOT ACCURATELY DESCRIBE THE AMOUNT OF JEALOUSY MY HEART IS HOLDING ON TO RIGHT NOW!

This is a list of reasons I like lists:

1) they are organized

2) they are easy to read

3) they help summarize what I'm trying to say

4) they are an effective way to list facts

5) they make it fun to finish a task by allowing me to cross something out

6) they help me remember what all I have to do

7) you can use fun looking bullet points!

8) they are clear and concise, just like me except the exact opposite

9) they break up the monotony of paragraphs

10) they help me with my counting

I cooked a lot this week. I'm talking mini pizzas, sweet potatoes, AND marinated chicken in the crock pot. I have enough food in my fridge to last 2 weeks now! Oh the single life. I also dried out some basil in my oven and I have to tell you Becca, IT MADE MY APARTMENT SMELL SOOOOOOOO GOOOOOODDD!! I need to do that more often.

i had a dream the other night that we were being attacked by fighter pilors from a foreign invader. I'm assuming it was Latvia with their devilish ways. It was very scary. i sincerely and honestly hope we never get attacked on our home soil. Although with the way warfare technology is progressing, it wouldn't surprise me if that happened sooner rather than later. Therefore, I have already begun make preparations. Every night I spend 49.2 mintues digging out a bunker in the woods by my apartment building. I plan on making it 3,00 square feet under there. Just because there's a foreign incasion and I have to live underground doesn't mean I have to be cramped. I also have ordered $300,000 worth of freeze dried food. That should last me about 3 weeks, then it's cannibalism time. I am having someone make a custom-made gas mask so that it doesn't smush my perfectly shaped nose. I'm also having it take the poisonout gas and turn it into fresh air that smells like a spring time meadow. Bobby is giving me 3 lessons a week in the art of martial so I can properly defend myself against either the Latvians (known for their ninja-like qualities) or aliens. And I have begun building anti-aircraft guns to protect myself. SO as you can see, I am well prepared for any type of invasion, unless they attack us with super robots that have impenetrable metal frames and can dig. Then I'm screwed.

I went to an Indians game with my family on Sunday. They lost. And I heard someone say they were surprised they lost because they had been playing pretty good so far this season. THAT'S THE LASY TIME I GO TO A SPORTING EVENT BECAUSE I AM CLEARLY A BAD LUCK CHARM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, I haven't attended a winning sporting event for at least 5 years. The only good thing to come of this is that K Joe Timm and I hashed up this fool-proof plan where we'd go to games together and I'd root for a team and he'd bet against them knowing that the meer fact that I'm rooting for them means they'll lose. We're going to be BILLIONAIRES!

I forgot what I was going to type.

I think it's time for another list.

If I had a celebrity dinner party, this is who I'd invite:

1) Jay Leno (he's funny and seems like a good guy)

2) Michael Buble (to sing to me)

3) Jimmy Fallon (because he's funny and would entertain us all)

4) Justin Timberlake (because you can't have Jimmy without Justin)

5) Ellen Degeneres (because of her awesomeness)

6) Hilary Duff (because I'm pretty sure if we knew each other, we'd be best friends)

7) Taylor Swift (so I can give her dating advice)

8) Oprah (I'm pretty sure it's against the law to have a celebrity party and NOT invite her)

9) Harry Potter (you know why)

10) Morgan Freeman (to narrate the evening)

I wore make up yesterday in an attempt to draw attention away from the massive zit on my chin. I have acne. So much. Almost as much as I hate tadpoles that won't let me catch them and keep them forever as (at in the word document) companions.

And now I want donut holes.

Off To See The Wizard,

D Rizzle

Rahcle,

I throw my hands up in the air sometimes!!!! Have you ever noticed how inappropriate that song becomes if you replace “hands” with “legs”? I just did, when I accidentally sang it.

Well now that’s out of my head, and Beyonce is back. I’ve never been a big fan of Beyonce, but this song pleases me greatly. I just appreciate her voice. I am thankful, however, that her work led to the creation of this:

It gets me every time.

So I’ve been being accidentally racist a lot. First, it was the burqa/ninja confusion. Then, I was talking about Danli and her jet lag, and I accidentally called her Jet Li. Plus, I’m worried the broad array of Asian paraphernalia on and around my desk might be offensive to our summer associates of Asian heritage. I hope they know I sincerely admire their culture and wish I could be swimming in it all day every day.

Due to extended time with my coworkers, I am now super into jokes. I have so many to tell you. I’ll go ahead and tell you one right now. Okay so there are three men stranded on a desert island, and they find a magical lamp. They rub the lamp and a genie comes out and says to them, “Hey guys, I will grant you each one wish, so choose carefully.” The men become very excited to have happened upon such luck. The first man says, “I wish I was off this island!” So the genie grants his wish and he disappears. The second man says, “I wish I was home with my family.” So the genie grants his wish and he goes home. Finally it’s the last man’s turn, and he says, “I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back.”

One of my workies and I occupy our free time by challenging each other with anagrams. Here are some to improve your mental prowess:

STOREY
BALLOG
GORRI
IRONIG
MEENY

So as you know, I watched Benny & Joon last night. Quality film. I love the 90s. Joon does funny things, like wear a helmet in the car, or drinking smoothies with self-contained underwater breathing apparatus equipment. At one point, she mentions that she doesn’t like raisins because really they’re just humiliated grapes.

Danli refuses to see another Harry Potter movie until someone assassinates Daniel Radcliffe. Kitty cat, there’s your next job. I wouldn’t mind if he goes. He refused to wear green contacts, and for that I can never forgive him. Plus, he got all naked on stage, which I also dislike.

Outta heyah,
bECCA

Rachel?

I hope you know you posted your post, as well as the forwarded email… of your post. Double duty my friend.

So the LivingSocial deal for day is a discount on two murder mystery dinner tickets. I thought you would like that. And I would consider buying them if you would come visit to use them… and if they’re not too expensive. Let me check.

Yeah you're not worth that much.

So here’s my dream from last night. I was driving Kirsten Corbin around Oxford. She needed food, so I took her to Bob Evan’s. When we got there, I spotted the entire cast of Law & Order SVU (I’ve never even seen that show) ordering to-go from the downstairs window. Because apparently Bob Evan’s was two stories and had a window. So, I go down the stairs and spot Adam Baldwin. He goes to his car, and I follow him, thinking, “hey I’m SO going to charm him with my witty banter.” But once I get there, he rolls down the window and I start chewing him out about something! I think I was nervous. But then he like rolls his eyes, pulls up his shirt, and goes, “There, are you satisfied? Is that what you wanted?” Thinking all I wanted was to see his abs! I was SO OFFENDED. But then, out of the corner of my eye, I see someone loitering in the parking lot. It’s Regis Philbin. “Hey Reg!” I yell, and wave. He gives me a brief glance, waves, and turns around. He looks really nervous. I come to the conclusion a drug deal is about to go down. Adam’s shirt is still up, and he drops a cheese fry. I awaken.

Weird, huh?

Here are my responses to your last post:
• If I want Famous Dave’s, I can just drive down the street.
• All jerky NASTY. Although I used to like jerky. Just one day I decided it was gross and haven’t eaten it since.
• I sold my trumpet. That’s a lie, my MOM sold my trumpet. But that’s okay, I never really liked it. I should’ve played another instrument, but I was nervous and had to choose quickly, and I knew it would make my mom happy as she was trumpeter extraordinaire in high school. Plus, I couldn’t play a woodwind because the thought of that wooden thing vibrating on my teeth freaks me out to this day.
• Losing your hair… maybe you have alopecia. Like Kaitlin Cooper’s horse on the OC. It was tragic. No girl should have a hairless horse.

Speaking of horses, at the stables last night, I completely immersed myself in the love of kittens. I now ADORE kittens. Can’t say too much about cats, but kittens are the bees’ knees. They cuddled with me, they played with me, they danced with me. They meowed at me when they weren’t getting attention, and I smothered them with affection. They tried to eat my bracelet and they climbed up my back using their bare claws. Pure joy. But anyway, as I was leaving, I saw one of them (the bracelet eater) eating something else on the ground. As I approached, fear exploded in my heart as I realized it was a splayed and ripped open chipmunk. I immediately started trying to reconcile it in my mind – the cuteness of the kitten with this brutal behavior. “They’re barn cats,” I thought. “This is their nature; they don’t know any better! I bet these people don’t feed them well so they have to do SOMETHING to survive.” But then when I got up close, I realized it was just a piece of fried chicken.

I’m so glad it’s Friday. And I’m so glad Rebecca Black is finally off everyone’s radar. Did you know radar is actually an acronym? It’s stands for RAdio Detection And Ranging. Here are some other acronyms you may or may not be aware of. Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus. Light Amplification by the Stimulated Emission of Radiation. National Association of Securities Dealers Automated Quotations. National Association of Stock Car Auto Racing. Répondez S'il Vous Plaît. I learned all this from Sporcle.

I miss my nacho husband. Sadly, I forget his name.

You’re welcome for being awesome,
Becca

Becca Lakalakalakalaka Redo,

I hope you appreciate the extreme amount of work I had to go through to make this post possible. All I can say is it involved slaying a dragon, hitch hiking through Detroit, outsmarting a Smarty Pants, waiting in line for a burrito, fighting an ogre, and the loss of 2 of my appendages (I’ll let you figure out which ones, here’s a hint, it’s my right pinky and nose).



I will not have coffee today. And by today I mean yesterday since this post took FOREVER to post. And by coffee I mean mainly sweet flavored creamer with a hint of coffee. And by hint of coffee I mean I DROWN the coffee flavor in creamer so I don't even taste it anymore. I'm so glad creamer exists. I bought some Chocolate Raspberry creamer at Walmart the other night. I made coffee the next day just so I could try it. It was pretty good. I knew I would either love it or hate it. Turns out I love it.



My stomach feels weird. Probably shouldn't have eaten that squirrel while it was still alive.



Jake and Amir is my new favorite obsession. Inappropriate at times? Yes. Funny? ALWAYS!



I really am quite alarmed at the rate my hair falls out. I'm fairly concerned that I will have to buy a wig soon. Kinda like Hannah Montana, only for a COMPLETELY different reason. Maybe I should take this opportunity to create an alter-ego (no, that looks wrong, but I think you know what I mean), you know, like Beyonce's Sasha Fierce and Bill O'Riley's Epic Extreme. So who should I be? I'm thinking Luna.



Ohio lost the battle of best states for businesses to Indiana BUT WE WILL WIN THE WAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



I think you should go on vacation with my mid September up to our cabin in wisconsin. Forget your family. Okay, that sounded harsh. Temporarily set your DNA bonds aside and spend some quality time with good ol crazy Luna. Think about it. Just you, me, some bears, and hopefully cute lumberjacks, alone in the woods for a week. Nothing can be heard except for the soft pulses of waves hitting the shore line, and the louds booms of skateboarders at the camp next door. God's beauty will surround us, along with hundreds of mosquitoes, possibly a wolf or two. Oh, and FAMOUS DAVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I do believe no further convincing will be needed.



Salmon jerky. That sounds weird. I kinda want to try it. Time to take a poll: Salmon jerky Nasty? Or Potentially Not Nasty?



I have an idea for a series of funny Youtube videos I want to film but I'm NOT GONNA TELL YOU!!! That way it will be a surprise because I think I remember you telling me once that you love surprises more than anything in the entire world. Except Koala bears. Nothing can be more loved than Koala Bears.



I like nuts. But I think that's because I can relate to them so well.



All of a sudden I have a strong longing for The N. Remember The N? That wonderful Canadian television station with tv show gems like Degrassi and Instant Star.



So I have orchestra rehearsal tonight for the Reynoldsburg Fourth of July fireworks. See, this year because of budget cuts, the city can’t ACTUALLY shoot off REAL fireworks so instead they just bought a bunch of sparklers and are going to light them and have the varsity baseball team throw them up in the air while the community orchestra uses their instruments to make fireworks sound effects. I’m playing the timpani. I’m actually playing my flute. Which I haven’t played in AT LEAST a year. SO I’m pretty rusty. But I do enjoy playing in the orchestra. I forgot how much I miss concert band sometimes. I think one of these days you should whip out your trumpet and I’ll bring my flute and we make sweet sweet music together. We could be like Guns N Roses only with flute and trumpet.



But seriously, the music is SUPER HARD! And I haven’t gotten to practice that much. But I’m going to practice as much as possible the next two days so I can actually play every now and then at the concert. #dedication





You know what would be cool? To be British. And to be able to fly. You could be a flying Brit. Like Prince William, only without the plane.



I'm wearing an ankle brace but it doesn't seem to be helping much, my wrist still hurts.



STOP PLAYING WITH MY HAIR! That was more directed towards me than you.



Okay I'm over this post.



Peace Out Suckas!

Luna







----- Forwarded Message ----
From: Rachel Fuhrman
To: Rachel Fuhrman
Sent: Wed, June 29, 2011 11:08:07 AM
Subject:


Becca Lakalakalakalaka Redo,

I will not have coffee today. And by coffee I mean mainly sweet flavored creamer with a hint of coffee. And by hint of coffee I mean I DROWN the coffee flavor in creamer so I don't even taste it anymore. I'm so glad creamer exists. I bought some Chocolate Raspberry creamer at Walmart the other night. I made coffee the next day just so I could try it. It was pretty good. I knew I would either love it or hate it. Turns out I love it.

My stomach feels weird. Probably shouldn't have eaten that squirrel while it was still alive.

Jake and Amir is my new favorite obsession. Inappropriate at times, yes. Funny? ALWAYS!

I really am quite alarmed at the rate my hair falls out. I'm fairly concerned that I will have to buy a wig soon. Kinda like Hannah Montana, only for a COMPLETELY different reason. Maybe I should take this opportunity to create an alter-ego (no, that looks wrong, but I think you know what I mean), you know, like Beyonce's Sasha Fierce and Bill O'Riley's Epic Extreme. So who should I be? I'm thinking Luna.

Ohio lost the battle of best states for businesses to Indiana BUT WE WILL WIN THE WAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think you should go on vacation with my mid September up to our cabin in wisconsin. Forget your family. Okay, that sounded harsh. Temporarily set your DNA bonds aside and spend some quality time with good ol crazy Luna. Think about it. Just you, me, some bears, and hopefully cute lumberjacks, alone in the woods for a week. Nothing can be heard except for the soft pulses of waves hitting the shore line, and the louds booms of skateboarders at the camp next door. God's beauty will surround us, along with hundreds of mosquitoes, possibly a wolf or two. Oh, and FAMOUS DAVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I do believe no further convincing will be needed.

Salmon jerky. That sounds weird. I kinda want to try it. Time to take a poll: Salmon jerky Nasty? Or Potentially Not Nasty?

I have an idea for a series of funny Youtube videos I want to film but I'm NOT GONNA TELL YOU!!! That way it will be a surprise because I think I remember you telling me once that you love surprises more than anything in the entire world. Except Koala bears. Nothing can be more loved than Koala Bears.

I like nuts. But I think that's because I can relate to them so well.

All of a sudden I have a strong longing for The N. Remember The N? That wonderful Canadian television station with tv show gems like Degrassi and Instant Star.

You know what would be cool? To be British. And to be able to fly. You could be a flying Brit. Like Prince William, only without the plane.

I'm wearing an ankle brace but it doesn't seem to be helping much, my wrist still hurts.

STOP PLAYING WITH MY HAIR! That was more directed towards me than you.

Okay I'm over this post.

Peace Out Suckas!
Luna