Playa,

Just to clarify, I meant the Spanish word for beach, not the Ebonics word for player or a gentleman who is very good at attracting multiple women at the same time.

So before you get all huffy and puffy about me not blogging in FOREVER, you should know the I TRIED to blog last week but it wouldn't let me! Scouts' honor. And I was in girl scouts for a year SO THAT COUNTS BECCA! Also, you should know that I spent many MANY hours yesterday typing up the perfect blog in a word document so I could copy and paste it here when I was done. But now the stupid blog won't let me paste it. GET IT TOGETHER GOGGLE BLOGGER!!!!!!!!

I just drank a cup of coffee (in my word document I put couple instead of cup) and now my whole body feels 5 degrees warmer. Is that natural? Whatever it is, it's not cool on a 90 degree day. I just realized my play on words with the cool thing. Sometimes I'm more witty, or wittier as I'd say, than I realize. But then I realize it, so that moment doesn't last very long.

I have decided that Riley has the coolest job EVER and I'm incredibly jealous. We need to start a business that's cooler. Just sayin'

Here is a list of my favorite foods:

1) crackers

2) sweet potatoes

3) chicken

4) Famous Dave's

5) Margaritas

6) nachos

7) Snickers

8) crickets

9) mangoes

10) pie (any kind)

Which one do you think I wasn't serious about?

Riley got to shoot (shot in word document) 3 different guns today, including a full automatic M16. ALL CAPS CANNOT ACCURATELY DESCRIBE THE AMOUNT OF JEALOUSY MY HEART IS HOLDING ON TO RIGHT NOW!

This is a list of reasons I like lists:

1) they are organized

2) they are easy to read

3) they help summarize what I'm trying to say

4) they are an effective way to list facts

5) they make it fun to finish a task by allowing me to cross something out

6) they help me remember what all I have to do

7) you can use fun looking bullet points!

8) they are clear and concise, just like me except the exact opposite

9) they break up the monotony of paragraphs

10) they help me with my counting

I cooked a lot this week. I'm talking mini pizzas, sweet potatoes, AND marinated chicken in the crock pot. I have enough food in my fridge to last 2 weeks now! Oh the single life. I also dried out some basil in my oven and I have to tell you Becca, IT MADE MY APARTMENT SMELL SOOOOOOOO GOOOOOODDD!! I need to do that more often.

i had a dream the other night that we were being attacked by fighter pilors from a foreign invader. I'm assuming it was Latvia with their devilish ways. It was very scary. i sincerely and honestly hope we never get attacked on our home soil. Although with the way warfare technology is progressing, it wouldn't surprise me if that happened sooner rather than later. Therefore, I have already begun make preparations. Every night I spend 49.2 mintues digging out a bunker in the woods by my apartment building. I plan on making it 3,00 square feet under there. Just because there's a foreign incasion and I have to live underground doesn't mean I have to be cramped. I also have ordered $300,000 worth of freeze dried food. That should last me about 3 weeks, then it's cannibalism time. I am having someone make a custom-made gas mask so that it doesn't smush my perfectly shaped nose. I'm also having it take the poisonout gas and turn it into fresh air that smells like a spring time meadow. Bobby is giving me 3 lessons a week in the art of martial so I can properly defend myself against either the Latvians (known for their ninja-like qualities) or aliens. And I have begun building anti-aircraft guns to protect myself. SO as you can see, I am well prepared for any type of invasion, unless they attack us with super robots that have impenetrable metal frames and can dig. Then I'm screwed.

I went to an Indians game with my family on Sunday. They lost. And I heard someone say they were surprised they lost because they had been playing pretty good so far this season. THAT'S THE LASY TIME I GO TO A SPORTING EVENT BECAUSE I AM CLEARLY A BAD LUCK CHARM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, I haven't attended a winning sporting event for at least 5 years. The only good thing to come of this is that K Joe Timm and I hashed up this fool-proof plan where we'd go to games together and I'd root for a team and he'd bet against them knowing that the meer fact that I'm rooting for them means they'll lose. We're going to be BILLIONAIRES!

I forgot what I was going to type.

I think it's time for another list.

If I had a celebrity dinner party, this is who I'd invite:

1) Jay Leno (he's funny and seems like a good guy)

2) Michael Buble (to sing to me)

3) Jimmy Fallon (because he's funny and would entertain us all)

4) Justin Timberlake (because you can't have Jimmy without Justin)

5) Ellen Degeneres (because of her awesomeness)

6) Hilary Duff (because I'm pretty sure if we knew each other, we'd be best friends)

7) Taylor Swift (so I can give her dating advice)

8) Oprah (I'm pretty sure it's against the law to have a celebrity party and NOT invite her)

9) Harry Potter (you know why)

10) Morgan Freeman (to narrate the evening)

I wore make up yesterday in an attempt to draw attention away from the massive zit on my chin. I have acne. So much. Almost as much as I hate tadpoles that won't let me catch them and keep them forever as (at in the word document) companions.

And now I want donut holes.

Off To See The Wizard,

D Rizzle