Rachel. I am being stalked and/or hunted down by a fly. I kid you not. It sits there and watches me. It's slowly but surely learning my habits. And then when I move, it attacks all kamikaze-like. This fly is plotting my death. I just know it. So if you get word soon that I have passed due to my eyes and/or brain being eaten, you know what happened.

I don't have much to say...

Except, I really should never be allowed to chew gum. I mean, I am a CHOMPER. It's out of control. I wish there was another way to control bad breath for an extended period of time beside this chewy gummy glob of material in my mouth. I used to get in trouble as a kid for it. I also once got in trouble in fourth grade by my teacher for scuffling my shoes. That's when I first learned that I don't pick up my feet. It's too much work. I'm a scuffler, and I have no shame.

I hope I never have a mid-life crisis and buy an extravagant gift for myself. Or become a cougar.

California girls da da da da da da dadada dadada da ready or not da da da da simply irresistible ohohohohoh..... I clearly do not know this song at all, yet it is stuck in my head. You know what I wish was stuck in my head? I think you know. So I won't tell you. Also, remember our inquiries about the #1 artist of the past decade? Well kjo looked it up, and the billboard charts claim it is..... EMINEM. I mean... is it just because he's white? Because seriously, his voice is a little annoying. But I do like some of his songs. BUT -- wait for it -- Beyonce AND Destiny's Child were both in the top ten. So if you combine them, I think she wins. Which makes me feel better.

I'm chatting with you on skype right now. I just told you to push your easy button. Which reminds me of the time in high school when my mom bought me an easy button and I took it to school. We passed it around calculus and pushed it and drove my teacher insane. It was humorous. I have also recently learned that this same teacher has reproduced at an alarming level. He know has like 294 children. Well, not that many.

I want a taco.

And pizza.

Taco pizza.

I am looking forward to Rookie Blue tonight. It makes me wonder why I'm not a cop!!!! For real. I think I may move to Canada one day. That would be fun. Maybe my mid-life crisis will be to move to Canada and join the police force. Can you plan a mid-life crisis? Probably not. I'll probably just end up buying a bakery and eating everything.

Bye.