Rocky,

My new name for you is Rocky. I've secretly (and not-so-secretly) called you Fuhrer for years now, but I have decided that it too controversial and highly offensive. Plus, Eric said it means "leader", and you are not my leader. Hugh Jackman is. (JK Jesus, not a funny joke.) Rocky works though for the following reasons: 1) It's a nickname for Raquel, which is your Spanish name, and 2) You are a hardcore physical threat, like the late and great Sly Stalone. Who is neither late nor that great. He is pretty epic though.

Remember the Rosie O'Donnell Show?

You know, the more I get on this blog, the more I like the robots. Sometimes I can't get over what good taste I have. Lolz I love being humble.

I wish you could have been here too, but it's good that you went to your family reunion slash emu party. Those things are pretty legit. I wish my family had them so that I could actually SEE and, dare I say, GET TO KNOW my relatives. Karaoke was probably good practice for you too, for when we start frequenting karaoke bars together. Our staples will be "Don't Stop Believin", "Dynamite", and "Build Me Up Buttercup". Plus any and all Clay Aiken songs.

I can't get over what a good photographer my friend is -- http://ktcrabbphotography.com/blog/

I THROW MY HANDS UP IN THE AIR SOMETIMES SAYING HEYYY OHHH GOTTA LET GOOOOO
I WANT TO CELEBRATE AND LIVE MY LIFE SINGING HEYYY OHHHH BABY LET'S GOO
WE GONNA ROCK THIS CLUB
WE GON GO ALL NIGHT
WE GON LIGHT IT UP
LIKE IT'S DYNAMITE

(I'm loling thinking about singing this song with the ferocious intensity that caps lock denotes.)

I am absolutely head over heels for your Psych-a-Deli idea. Did you come up with that yourself? There's nothing better than a fresh chicken salad sandwich topped with a generous dollop of justice. I think we should go forward with this idea. There are a lot of details to work out though. Such as, do customers have to buy a sandwich in order to get a meeting with us? Which will be the business front -- the deli or the PI office? Or will it be like a half-and-half kind of deal? Can a deli gift card be used for our investigative services as well? Will we serve corned beef?

I can't wait for you to be my children's crazy aunt. You should probably teach them pranks, as I will be pranking them from the time they're born. They'll need all the outside help they can get.

Sorry you're hot. Sara's dad keeps their house very cold, so I've been pleasantly chill. Except for when I walk outside, which for some reason happens a lot. And yesterday, when I left the house she works at, I opened the door to go outside and I LITERALLY THOUGHT I HAD WALKED ONTO THE SURFACE OF THE SUN. I could not see or breathe or feel anything but vicious, vicious fire burning over my body. I hope no one ever sets me on fire. That would be a sad way to die.

Ross: I went to that tanning place your wife suggested.
Chandler: Was that place... THE SUN?

Turns out I'm a merciless frisbee player. And I love reading Fiji updates.

Becca out.