Becca My Darling,

First of all, you miss translated my previous message. I am assuming that you translated it in Slovenian but I actually wrote it in Transylvanian, also known as the Vampire Language, and because of your knowledge of vampires as seductive and romantic as provided by pop culture, I'm sure you have already figured out that I was only speaking wonderful and loving things to you. If I am drunk it is because I am drunk on your beauty and had to tell you.

I always forget what you say in your posts when I respond so I copy and pasted it into a word document so I can go back and look at it to make sure I hit everything. Smart huh? Let's see here, offensive post, check, next is...headache. Yes Becca I have always feared you were too dependent on coffee. You know that new Ke$ha song, that goes like "You're love is my drug," well my dear friend, coffee is yours. Lol it's actually not that bad. I am proud of you though for recognizing that you probably can't financially support your passion for coffee as much as you used to. You are growing up!

Thirdly, WATER! I also love water. In fact, I worked out AGAIN today and drank a whole bunch of it! (fyi, I lost 1.3 pounds since Thursday, only 1.8 until I reach my Wii Fit goal, which is escaping my mind right now.) Water, or H2O as they call it in the scientific world, is indeed an amazing creation of God. Would you like to hear some other cool things about water? The moon controls all the water on the earth which is why I tend to be crazier than normal when it's a full moon. Here is why I love water: It quenches my thirst, you can make water balloons and throw them at people, you can surf on it, without it fish would be homeless (and dead), it's pretty to paint, dolphins wouldn't be nearly as entertaining or cute without it, and it really hurts when it goes up your nose. Okay I don't really love the last one.

Would your headache go away if I sang you a song?

Soft Kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur
Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, pur pur ppuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

That facial sounds AMAZING, although I see now why you can't afford to get coffee, because you're having your face embalmed with gold! And just so you know, if they made a doll that looked like you and coated its face with gold, I'd buy that doll. And I fully expect you to learn all those facial secrets so that next time I see you I can get a facial. CHALLENGE EXTENDED!

I like your new lingo for the Trinity, but might I make a suggestion? Instead of the HS for the Holy Spirit, what about H to the Shizzle? Just a thought.

Becca, you go climb those trees. You climb them like you've never climbed trees before. You go as high as you possibly can, although NEVER NEVER NEVER do what Abram did. Unlike him, you will fall, break your neck, and die.

Now on to my life.

I worked out again today, oh wait I already told you. I've decided to name my trainer on the Wii Fit William, just because he looks like if he was real, he could be a William. Okay, I FINALLY sent back the Directv stuff so hopefully we are DONE with that company! If anyone is reading this I would HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU STAY AWAY FROM DIRECTV! Hey Becca, remember that one time we had Directv and ended up really regretting it? I DO! Oh, and the Jonas Brothers were on Regis and Kelly this morning so I watched that. Very funny, very adorable. I loved hearing Kevin talk about being married. I don't care what people say I will continue to believe that those are three stellar God-loving Christian men unlike I blatantly see they are not. Oh, and they mentioned that they were excited that you and I are going to their concert in Nashville. They can't WAIT to see us :)

Love Always and Forever Unless You Steal My Pillow and Destroy It,
Rachel