Letters Between Lunatics

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRF,

You will receive zero crackers because you lied. That is your just reward. Actually, your just reward would be eternal damnation, but that's not really in my power.

I am scarfing down my food. I am always SO HUNGRYYYY!!

I feel the need to go to a movie. I don't care so much about the actual movie as I do about the entire movie-going experience. Sneaking a delicious coffee drink in my bag. Pulling out a tupperware of homemade pudding to delight my tastebuds during the film. Getting weird stares from others as I sit there by myself and eat pudding out of a glass tupperware container, all the while laughing obnoxiously. Sitting in the comfy seats. Darkness. Previews. Hardcore surround sound. Other people laughing and crying and gasping. The atmosphere of people enjoying themselves. I NEED TO GO. However in order to do so, I would have to sneak in not only my coffee, but myself.

I've actually been working today. I am the only one here at this point. Well, the only VISTA. Three of the others left for lunch and aren't coming back, and the other just didn't show up. And no one really cares. Laid back is taken to extremes here.

I am going to write you a short poem:

Rachel oh Rachel

Wearer of hats

With long chestnut hair

And the eyes of a cat

Your fingers play music

But they also shoot things

I think that you practice

Mind control when you sing

So as I mentioned, I have taken to browsing international real estate at lunch. I have now expanded the breadth of my search to include national real estate as well, but only the highest quality homes as listed on the Sotheby's real estate website. I propose the following to be purchased by you for me to live in, or for us to live in together if you clean up and get your act together. We all know you have a crack(er) problem. Crumbs are not acceptable, just ask Elle.