Rachel,

I will risk being reprimanded (AS IF lol... that's the first time I've said "as if" since I was 13, I think) in order to write you a reply RIGHT NOW. I've actually only been working for about five minutes, as I spent the rest of my morning finding people to follow on Twitter and reading all the posts of LeadFakePastor. Besides the two I tweeted, here are my favorites from him:

- Theological error of less than 140 characters should get a pass. It says that CLEARLY in Romans 9:3. I also get frustrated when people point out flaws & theological errors in my messages and books, too. #HurtsSales

- Thankful for: family, God, Buckle, Coldplay, my abs, my wife's abs, and Perry Noble's easily accessible messages online. #blessed

- HELP needed, twitterverse: Does anyone have a monkey that smokes cigars? Need one DESPERATELY for a visual on Sunday. #creative

- I wish there was a sequel to Genesis. I've always wondered what happened to Joseph and his family after they moved to Egypt. #mystery

- The worst critics are the ones that have the bible on their side because you can't reason with them. #annoying

- Pastor, remember u r an example & people are watching you ALL the time. Kills me when I see pastors look like slobs at the gym. #underarmor

- One reason I'm glad I'm not Jewish is I hate working on Saturday & Sunday is Monday for pastors. Also, I love bacon. #Christian

- Are u an example? I tell our middle school girls how my wife kept her purity even though she was really hot & God rewarded her with me #pure

- Disappointing when a ministry friend turns out to be fake. Had to fire our creative arts guy when I found out his tats r fake :(

TOO MANY TO COUNT!! I am laughing really hard at work, and it is causing me some abdominal pain to try to be quiet and hold it in.

I am going to try the new Wendy fries today. I was too lazy to pack a lunch, so I thought since it's SO COLD and i love chili SO MUCH that I would go to Wendy's and get some. The fries are just a bonus. And maybe a frosty... but i'm already pretty frosty in this office.

I had a most wonderful time at your house this weekend. Honestly. I am 100% positive that is where God wanted me to be. It's a bonus that it made you and Mama G happy to have me there :) I am honored.

I am avoiding calling the doctor. I really don't want to. I've already paid a lot of money for medical stuff. I wonder how long my body can hold out... I wouldn't be surprised if I fade out pretty quickly. I am more feeble than I look.

I drew an extremely realistic portrait of Quail Man. Speaking of classic cartoons, we got Netflix on our Wii (that Mama Lang was kind enough to loan us) and I got Hey Arnold and Rugrats to watch. Memory Lane, I will be traversing you soon.

I keep trying to use my cell phone as my mouse. I should probably move it, but... nah.

It's full steam ahead (train reference just for you) with my obsession with the British monarchy. I watched The Young Victoria last night and looooooooooooooooved it!! Then I read the full Wiki pages on both her and her husband, Albert, whom I would marry if he weren't dead and married to Vicky. I looked up the actor who played him with hopes that I could marry him instead (SO ADORABLE) but then discovered that he is dating Keira Knightley #disappointment

Oh! And I also remembered that one of my ancestors worked for Queen Victoria YESSSSSSS I HAVE A CONNECTION!!!! 17 degrees from Queen V. 18 from Albert.

That's all,
RML