Whopper,

Incorrect. It will be “Everyone and her mom” or “everyone and his mom”. Doesn’t have the same ring to it. Your plan fails.

Firefly is about space cowboy pirates. That’s all you need to know. But I’ll tell you more anyway. It’s like 500 years in the future and people used up Earth and so they created (“terraformed”) a bunch of new planets in another solar system. The central planets united together and tried to make the outer planets go under their rule, so there was a war, and the central planets won. Now the central planets are all advanced and futuristic, but the outer planets are neglected and backwards. The main characters in the show fought on the losing side of the war, so now they’re flying around in a ship from planet to planet, taking whatever job they can get, avoiding the rule of the Alliance and living on the edge. They do a lot of illegal things, and start a lot of bar brawls, and say a lot of snarky comments. And they’re always getting into trouble. It’s fascinating because their world(s) are all futuristic and archaic at the same time. Like, flying space ships, but wearing Victorian dresses and settling disagreements with duels. Intriguing religious tension. So you know. It’s AWESOME. Also awesome for these reasons: 1) My fav character from Chuck is on it. 2)Nathan Fillion rocks. 3) A young Zac Efron is on it.

The theme song is not “Fireflies.” It was before Owl City’s time. This is the theme song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LrAS20mNZUE. It makes me laugh every time. I sing along quite dramatically.

I WILL TOTALLY PAINT SOME THINGS FOR YOUR NEW APARTMENT.

I called my dad this morning to discuss my car. He proceeded to tell me that he saw my youtube video. He said, and I quote, “I knew if any of my daughters would be on youtube, it would be you.” I like that he said “any” of his daughters, as if he had a whole barnful of them. Wrong, father, you only have two. UNLESS THERE’S SOMETHING YOU’RE NOT TELLING ME. But anyway, he said that you did great in the video, but you make me look like a crazy mess, and that I should contact you about perhaps pulling it because it might destroy my rep. Good lookin out, Paw.

Also, speaking of that video, it inspired me to sing “Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow” in my falsetto on the way to work.

We had our staff meeting today, and Josh always leads us in a short devotional. I just went through Joshua, and now he’s going through Joshua with us, so it’s kind of cool. Anyway, today’s was about Rahab. He titled it, “A Hooker with a Heart for God”. He likes alliteration and clever titles. I like him. He came over a sporcled with us yesterday. He got really into it.

My workie Chelsea attempted to purchase a lap harp online from a Goodwill ebay-ish website. She was outbid at 5am this morning, crushing her dreams of becoming a lap harp playing rapper. She was going to call herself a lap hop artist. I preferred hip harpist, but she didn’t want people confusing her lap harp with a larger hip-sized harp.

You may have spelled Gyllenhaal right for once… but now you can’t spell margarita.

With slight wavering affection,
The Baconator

P.S. Don’t ever put your face on a male’s body ever again.
P.P.S. Let it be known that I typed in “Whopper” right after I saw “Big Mac”… we think way too much alike.